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By: Kyle Kettner
Week 4 record
7-8
Season record
17-13 (I started picks in week 3)
So last week I came back to reality and saw that I can’t predict quarterback play for shit. I got a couple things right, and few losses were really close, but either way it was a less than stellar week for me. Let’s hope I can straighten my ass out this week. Oh, and fuck you Pete Carroll!
And here’s my week 5 picks!
Buffalo at Cleveland
Ok, screw it. I’ll drink the Kool Aid for a week. Even though I think Buffalo’s defensive line will give Hoyer some problems, I’m hoping the kid goes 3-0
Pick: Browns
New Orleans at Chicago
I know New Orleans is clicking right now, I know the Bears just came off a bad game, and I know my head is telling me to pick the Saints in an easy victory. BUT…. New Orleans historically plays sub-par in Soldier Field and I think Cutty is going to come back big in this game.
Pick: Bears
New England at Cincinnati
Cincinnati is so frustrating. One week they want to win a big game, the next week they’re crapping down their leg. I think Marvin Lewis bitches them out this week after the embarrassment against Cleveland. New England seems due for a let down
Pick: Bengals
Detroit at Green Bay
This is the one pick I hope I’m wrong with. I can go 13-1 next week and be A-OK as long as the one is this game. Jim Schwartz is a douche, and the Lions are not as good as their record, but I hate the Packers so fucking much. So conflicted!!
Pick: Packers
Kansas City at Tennessee
If Tennessee has Locker I pick the Titans. They don’t. They have Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Pick: Chiefs
Seattle at Indianapolis
This is the game of the week in my mind. Seattle has a great defense. Let’s see what Luck can do with against it. Russell Wilson could be in for some trouble this week. Not that Indy’s D is that great, I just get the sense he’s leaning towards having a bad week.
Pick: Colts
Jacksonville at St. Louis
Like I said, I won’t pick Jacksonville at all until they show me something. St. Louis is probably their best chance for a victory as they have Denver, San Diego, and San Fran coming up the next 3 weeks. Their next chance for a victory looks like it won’t be until week 11 when they face Arizona. Oh yeah, did you know Jacksonville has scored only 31 points this season? 8 teams scored at least 31 points last WEEK.
Pick: Rams
Baltimore at Miami
Miami is coming off a bad loss, Flacco is coming off a 5 pick performance. Something tells me he finds his mighty wings this week.
Pick: Ravens
Philadelphia at New York Giants
In my quest to see Philadelphia go 1-15, I have to pick the Giants here even though I think the Giants look horrible. Antrel Rolle said this week he believes the Giants can run the table and go 12-4. Yeah….and I CAN shoot 12 under par my next round of golf. Doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to believe I will.
Pick: Giants
Carolina at Arizona
Hmmm…. I don’t know who to pick in this game. I’m not a fan of either team. Carolina looked good against the Giants two weeks ago, but the Giants look like a powder puff team right now. Arizona looked bad last week, but something tells me Patrick Peterson gets a pick and a special teams return.
Pick: Cardinals
Denver at Dallas
Denver looks like such a well-oiled machine right now it’s hard to see them losing. Dallas finds a way to lose games like last week against San Diego then come back and play week against teams like the Broncos. Upset pick of the week.
Pick: Cowboys
Houston at San Francisco
I was wrong with my stat about Schaub’s pick 6’s last week. I don’t think he threw one in week 1. Either way, he sucks.
Pick: 49ers
San Diego at Oakland
Terrelle Pryor comes back this week. San Diego just got a big win against Dallas. This game is moved to an 11:35 (ET) start time because of Oakland A’s baseball. I don’t care who wins.
Pick: Raiders
New York Jets at Atlanta
Is it me or have the Falcons played every game in prime time this year? Geeze, national media. Get off Matt Ryan’s cock. Oh, and the Jets are a mess.
Pick: Falcons
Bye Week: Minnesota, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Washington