Kyle’s NFL Week 5 Recap

So, a few headlines before I recap week 5…….

Josh Freeman to the Vikings

The Vikings signed Josh Freeman Monday, officially putting Christian ponder on notice.  Put up or shut up, Christian….IF you get the chance.  Realistically, this signifies that the Vikings realize that they made a mistake with Ponder.  He sucks.  I knew it, you knew it, and finally the Vikings know it.  I actually hope Josh Freeman succeeds in Minnesota, I just hope he sucks against the Bears.

Clay Matthews out for at least 1 month

Clay Matthews fractured his thumb on Sunday, had surgery Monday, and will be out for at least 4 weeks.  I’m guessing since it’s not an injury that can be covered up by a hard cast, it must be bad.  Let’s hope that girly roided up prick is out for longer.  Oh, I’m sorry, that’s the Bears fan in me coming out.

Michael Vick not likely to play against the Buccaneers

The Eagles say Vick will start when healthy, but we all knew he wouldn’t start 16 games this year.  I’m not a huge Bucs fan, but I might see them pulling this out next week.

And now, WEEK 5

New Orleans – 28   Chicago - 16

This game was frustrating from the first snap of the game for the Bears.  Matt Forte started off his day by fumbling a toss from Jay Cutler, and though he recovered it, it seemed to put the Bears in a hole from the start. The Bears had no answer for Jimmy Graham (10 catches 135 yards) and Drew Brees threw for 288 yards and 2 TD’s.  The Bears offense struggled out of the gate, converting only one 3^rd down in the first quarter.  The Bears defense seemed to start the game with purpose and conviction, holding the Saints to 13 points through almost 2 quarters.  A late 2^nd quarter touchdown changed the complexion of this game entirely as Brees connected with Pierre Thomas for a 25 yard TD run with 23 seconds to go before the half.   For the second week in a row, the Bears looked outmatched and outplayed through 2 ½ quarters, and then seemed to turn it on in the 3^rd and 4^th quarter.  Down 23-10, the Bears drove 74 yards on 13 plays, only to have Earl Bennett have 2 COSTLY drops, one that killed the drive on 4^th down.  Oh, and Cutty put that one right in his hands.  After a good defensive stand, Lance Briggs made one of the biggest bonehead plays I’ve ever seen (more on that below) and allowed the Saints a FG.  On the next drive Cutler again tried to rally the troops going 82 yards in just 4 plays, connecting with Brandon Marshall on a 2 yard score, narrowing the deficit to 8 points.  For the second straight week the Bears needed to recover on onside kick, score, and convert a two point conversion to tie.  Well, that didn’t happen, and the Saints remained undefeated.

Now you got the recap, my personal thoughts on this game…

1. With about 6 minutes to go in the game and down 13, the Bears had a drive that stalled when Earl Bennett dropped a 4^th down pass that hit him in the hands and would have been a first down.  The Bears had momentum and were driving into Saints’ territory.  After a great defensive stand the Saints were faced with 4^th and 1 in their own territory.  EVERYONE in the stadium knew the Saints offense was lining up with the sole purpose of trying to draw the Bears offsides.  There is no way Sean Payton goes for that on 4^th down.  So the defense made a good stop, hard count is coming, just sit and wait for the Saints to call a timeout and punt, right??  Nooooooooooo….. Lance Briggs was trying to time a blitz for whatever fucking reason he was thinking, and jumped the line, hit an offensive lineman, neutral zone infraction, automatic first down.  What the fuck, Lance???? EVERYONE knew that ball wasn’t being snapped.  VERY costly penalty when the Bears were looking to rally.
2.  Losing Nate Collins hurts.  Melton, Paea, now Collins, and the Bears are extremely thin at DT.  Zach Minter (RFA) and Larry Cohen (signed off the street 10 days ago) look to get the most playing time. OUCH.  Paea might come back this week but the Bears need to scour the waiver wire now that Collins is out for the season.  The Bears still have ZERO pass rush.
3. If you watched this game, you saw Cutler running for his life in the first half.  For all the praise the O-line has gotten early on, they did not play particularly well against the Saints.  Cutler actually had a great day throwing for 358 yards, 2 TD’s, 0 picks, and completed 73% of his passes.  A QB rating of 128.1.  If you were to tell me those would be Cutler’s numbers every week, I’ll take it in a heartbeat.  You usually don’t lose games when the QB has those numbers.  Zero interceptions was a big stat.  Cutler responded after a bad outing last week.
4. Alshon Jeffrey, welcome to the NFL! He was a man among boys on Sunday. 10 catches, 218 yards, and a TD.  I’ll take the bracket coverage on Marshall if Jeffrey can do that every week.
5. The Bears need a pass rush and they need it quick.  There is no excuse for heading into week 6 with only 8 sacks as a team.  Peppers  needs to regain his youth, McClellin needs to show 1^st round potential, and Corey Wootton needs to be a player.  This is ridiculous.  Now with the defensive tackles having their own wing at Lake Forest Hospital, it’s ever more important.

Final Bears thought…

This loss was a tough pill to swallow.  The Saints are a good team, don’t get me wrong, but they are beatable.  I’m not raising the panic flag in Chicago just yet.  Remember, our offense has only been in play for 5 weeks now.  This is a learning and growing process, and even though there are two losses there is plenty to take away from those.  The offense has a ton of potential, and as these guys learn to play together and where the Bears can manipulate defenses, they will be fine.  It cracks me up that people are calling for Trestman’s head and wishing Lovie was back.  SHUT UP!!!  The Bears showed something the last two weeks that I haven’t seen from them in years…..they never gave up.  Under Lovie Smith, if the Bears were down by 16 in the 4^th quarter, they mailed it in.  The Bears have a fight and a drive under Trestman, and it shows on the field.  Granted, no one wants a loss, but seriously people, get real and stop being fucking idiots.  Lovie needed to go, Trestman appears to have been the right man for the job, and everyone needs to be a little patient.  Oh, and Lance Briggs needs to be bitch slapped for that stupid penalty in the 4^th quarter.  I’d expect that from a rookie, not an all-pro linebacker.  Shame on you, Lance…….

AROUND THE NFL

 Buffalo – 24   Cleveland - 37

Man, this game was devastating for both sides.  Hoyer is gone for the season, Manuel for at least 4 weeks.  It’s really a shame for the Browns as they were starting to show signs of real improvement.  Ok, Brandon Weeden, it’s your turn again.  Brian Hoyer proved that Cleveland CAN win with a competent QB, so let’s see if you can be one.  As for Buffalo, and all that talk about Tuel Time, Jeff Tuel remains a back up to Thad Lewis.  I guess he doesn’t seem as good now as he did 5 weeks ago. I haven’t even looked who Buffalo is playing next week yet, but unless it’s Jacksonville, I’m most likely picking against them.  I mean, c’mon. He’s from Duke.  Has there ever been a good football player from Duke??

New England – 6   Cincinnati - 13

Welcome to Earth, Tom Brady.  Blame the weather and anything else you want, but you just got beat by a sub-par Bengals team.  The Bengals defense was pretty stout though, and Pacman Jones made a key interception late to seal the win.  Am I the only one that smiled seeing a rain-drenched Bill Belichick all somber and poo-pooey during his postgame press conference?  He’s a bastard, so it was nice seeing that.

Detroit – 9   Green Bay - 22

Just my fucking luck that right before this game Calvin Johnson gets scratched.  The Packers crappy defense was able to key in on Reggie Bush, and 5 field goals by Mason Crosby was more than enough for the Packers to get the win.  The Lions now haven’t won in Wisconsin in 23 years.  Clay Matthews left with a thumb injury, so that was a highlight.  I hate the Packers, so I was bummed to see them win, but Jim Schwartz is still a douche, so screw him.

Kansas City – 26   Tennessee - 17

For a minute, I thought Ivy League was going to pull this out for Tennessee.  The Titans will be hurting until Locker comes back, that’s for sure.  Ol’ Fat Stache now has his team tied for first in the AFC West.  How much does that suck?  You take a team that was 2-14 last year, get them off to a 5-0 start, and you’re still only TIED for the division league because you’re in the same division as Peyton Manning.  Sucks to be you.

Seattle – 28   Indianapolis - 34

HAHA! SUCK IT PETE CARROLL!!!!  Indy looked like the real deal Sunday after rallying to beat The Hawks.  Seattle was in control a lot of the day but Andrew Luck willed his team and kept hanging around with the help of Reggie Wayne and Donald Brown.  Seattle looked poised to make a late score, but Russell Wilson was picked off on the final drive.  Did anyone see the hit he took as he threw that last pass??  Whoa.  Carroll was chomping his gum in his usual douchebag fashion as he watched the clock hit 00:00.  Man, that guy has to have a stronger jaw than a $2 hooker.  I hate him with a passion, if you haven’t noticed.

Jacksonville – 20   St, Louis - 34

Ok, Jacksonville, can we officially throw Blaine Gabbert to the wolves?  The guy is not, and will never be, an NFL quarterback.  I mean, come on, I’d take Christian Ponder over him, and we all know how much I think Ponder sucks.  Gabbert threw two more picks, and left with a hamstring injury.  Luke Joeckel was lost for the season as well.  It’s looking like an 0-16 season is a real possibility here.  Jacksonville has Denver next week.  They just released that it’s a record tying 28 point spread.

Ha…..haha…..hahaHAHA…….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Baltimore – 26   Miami - 23

Baltimore’s defense came up in the end after almost letting Miami climb back into it.  Tannehill is looking better, he’ll be in that upper echelon in no time.  Flacco looked just average, as he has most of his career.  My biggest bone to pick isn’t even with the game.  Did you see the new McDonald’s Mighty Wings commercial with the voice overs of Ravens players?  Funny?  Yes.  Original?  Not by a long shot.  Thumbs down to McDonald’s for taking someone else’s idea, making it seem like their own, and not giving credit.  The idea for the commercial obviously came from the site Bad Lip Reading, and if you have never seen it.  Take a few minutes and watch it.  This site is HILARIOUS, especially the NFL edition.  If you don’t want to search the facebook page just go to YouTube and search bad lip reading.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zce-QT7MGSE

 https://www.facebook.com/badlipreading

Philadelphia – 36   New York Giants - 21

Damn it Eli!!  You had a chance to beat the Eagles, and you failed.  Your team even faced Nick Foles for half the game and you STILL sucked.  Now I know Eli doesn’t play defense, but he’s that big of a whiny bitch that I hold him personally responsible for the whole team.  Three interceptions and three intentional grounding penalties warrants me calling him a fucking moron. 

The ONLY reason I rooted for his team this week is because I hate the Eagles more.  I guess my quest for 1-15 for the Eagles got sidetracked, but that’s because they played the Giants. (who resemble the Jaguars right about now)   I guess 2-14 will have to do! Vick is most likely out next week, so here’s hoping that Foles folds…

Carolina – 6   Arizona - 22

Welcome back to the hot seat Ron Rivera.  You trounce the Giants, have a week off to prepare for a less-than-exciting Arizona team, and then you let said team kick your teeth in.  Daryl Washington means a lot to this Arizona defense, and his return alone will give this team some juice.  The one bright spot for Carolina is Luke Kuechly.  This kid is a gamer and it’s worth sitting through a Carolina game just to watch him play.  Kind of reminds me of a young Brian Urlacher.

Denver – 51   Dallas - 48

 This was the game of the year so far.  Dallas came to play, not letting the intimidation of Denver get to them, and it was a shootout all day long.  Morris Claiborne ended Peyton’s streak of 227 passes without a pick, but Manning also had 4 TD’s moving his season total to 20 TD’s with only 1 INT.  There was 920 yards of PASSING yards in the game.  Fuck me running.  1,039 yards of total offense.  It was entertaining to say the least.  Manning threw for 414 and Romo threw for 506 becoming the first 500 yard passer in Dallas history.  It has to be tough to score 48 points and lose.  There was absolutely no defense played in the game.  A couple picks here and there, but other than that it looked as if Romo and Manning were going up against the best that the Dallas Community Assisted Living Center had to offer.  I picked Dallas in this game, and thought for sure I was going to win this pick.  Then classic Romo struck and gave Denver the ball with a chance to sit on it and take a chip shot field goal as time expired.  Next up for Denver?  Jacksonville.  I wonder if Peyton even makes it to halftime, or if Osweiler relieves him in the second quarter with the game in hand.  As for the Cowboys, it’s a good thing they play in a steaming pile of shit division, and are still in 1^st place.  Combined division record?  5-14.  You stay classy, NFC East.

Houston – 3   San Francisco - 34

Matt Schaub, meet rock bottom.  You were replaced by TJ Yates and it had nothing to do with injury.  Schaub has now thrown a pick 6 in 4 straight games, the only QB to ever accomplish that feat.  Colin Kaepernick looked underwhelming again, but he didn’t need to do much as the 49ers defense stifled everything the Texans had to offer.  Kubiak said Schaub will be his starter moving forward, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Houston was looking for a new QB this offseason.

San Diego – 17   Oakland - 27

Being that I’m getting old now, and had a long weekend working, I never made it around to watching this game, so I got the highlights.  Terrelle Pryor looks to be the spark Oakland needs.  I never thought he’d amount to much, but he seems to be making the best of his opportunity.  Phillip Rivers managed 400 yards but couldn’t find a way to beat Oakland, tossing 3 picks along the way. 

I’ll be interested to see if Oakland can build off this and become competitive on a week-to-week basis.

New York Jets – 30    Atlanta - 28

How the fuck did that happen?  Seriously, did anyone see Geno Smith playing a mistake-free game against the Falcons?? Anyway, good for Rex Ryan, I actually like him.  The Falcons need to figure out where they left their balls and reattach them, ASAP.

“Well You Didn’t Make a Lick of Difference” Performance of the Week:

Matt Schaub – Houston Texans

19-35, 173 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT

Cam Newton  - Carolina Panthers

21-39, 308 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT

This was a tie for me because even though Cam threw for over 3 bills, he still didn’t give his team a chance to win.  He managed to get the Panthers in position to score 6 points.  As a #1 pick, you have to do better than that.  Schaub is on here because he’s in a downward spiral, and set a record for most games in a row with a pick 6.  He looked slow in everything he did allowing the 49ers secondary to jump routes like crazy.  Anytime you get benched for TJ Yates you belong on this list.

“Holy Crap, I’m Awesome!???” Breakout Performance of the week:

Tony Romo – Dallas Cowboys

25-36, 506 yards, 5 TD, 1 INT

I almost left Romo off of this award because his 1 interception proved to be the game losing pick, but how can you not acknowledge a guy that throws for 500 yards and 5 TD’s?  If his defense just came up with one more stop he wouldn’t have had to try to win it in the end anyway.  Good thing the NFC East is such a trash heap, the Cowboys still look in position to take this division.