Kyle’s Week 7 Recap

So, a few headlines before I recap week 7…….

Injuries are the big news this week, here’s a quick recap of the major injuries that will affect some teams’ seasons. Obviously the Jay Cutler injury is big news locally, but I’ll touch on that in the Bears recap. I may be a little chippy this week. The Bears taking a huge dump in D.C. put me in a mood….

Sam Bradford – QB – Rams

Looks like Bradford has a torn ACL and is done for the year. St. Louis, get ready for a free fall. You were in trouble WITH Bradford, now you have Kellen Clemons for the time being. That does not bode well for you. Also, can we shut the fuck up about Tim Tebow?? What in this free world makes anyone think that he can help the Rams? Get off his jock already! He sucks, he will always suck, and I’m pretty sure my 3 year old daughter can throw a better pass than Tim Tebow.

Brian Cushing – LB – Texans

Looks like a broken leg and torn LCL for Cushing. Get the guy some roids and coke and he’ll be good as new. In all seriousness though, this really hurts the Texans’ D.

Doug Martin – RB – Bucs

Martin tore his labrum and is done for the year. Not that it affects the garbage season that the Bucs are posting, but it IS their top running back.

Reggie Wayne – WR – Colts

Wayne tore his ACL on a non-contact play in the Colts game against the Broncos. Those non-contact injuries are always the scariest, and it sucks that it happened to player like Reggie Wayne. He will be gone for the season, and it hurts the Colts to lose Andrew Luck’s top weapon.

Leon Hall – CB – Bengals

Hall tore his Achilles tendon in the Bengals win, and this is a huge blow to the Bengals secondary. Hall is one of the best corners in the league, and a leader of that defense.

Jermichael Finley – TE – Packers

Finley left the game on a stretcher Sunday after taking a shot to the head. He spent the night in the hospital, but had feeling in his extremities and sources say he will be fine. The fear of a concussion should worry Packer fans here. After suffering a concussion in week 2, and the state of the Packers receiving core being decimated, Finley missing significant time could be huge, and it sounds as if he’ll be out a while.

And now, WEEK 7

Chicago – 41 Washington – 45

At the beginning of the year, did anyone think that if the Bears put up 41 points in any game they would lose? I sure as hell wouldn’t have made that bet. Turns out, that is the most points ever scored in a loss for the Bears. This game featured 7 lead changes, 5 ties, 6 rushing touchdowns, a punt return touchdown, a pick 6, and a partridge in a fucking pear tree. The teams traded field goals and rushing touchdowns before a Cutler pass was in and out of the hands of Alshon Jeffrey, tipped up, and picked off by Brian Orakpo. He took it 29 yards for the score. Jay Cutler left in the 2^nd quarter with a groin injury and didn’t return. Devin Hester returned a punt 81 yards for a score, tying the NFL record for most career return touchdowns at 19. Oh you didn’t hear about the record? Surprising seeing as how after his team got dismantled, all Hester could talk about was Deion Sanders sending him texts. No one gives a shit Dev, you name-dropping prick. I was glad to see Hester get another return, though. I really have enjoyed his career in Chicago. With Josh McCown running the offense, the Bears actually carved up Washington’s defense behind the running of Matt Forte, who ran for scores of 2, 50, and 6 yards. He was the first Bears running back since Rashaan Salaam to run for 3 scores in a game. The Bears did another thing not seen in a long time. After kicking a field goal to get within 4 points, they got inventive on a surprise onside kick with about 8 minutes to go in the 4^th quarter. After appearing to recover it, the refs (who were horrible in this game on BOTH sides) made a questionable offfsides call that forced the Bears to re-kick. With the element of surprise gone, they were forced to kick deep and trust the defense. Ugh. McCown played well and threw for 204 yards completing 14-20 passes including a TD to Martellus Bennett late that gave the Bears a 41-38 lead. Everyone in Chicago knew the Bears were in trouble though. Washington got the ball back with just under 4 minutes to play. With the way the Bears defense was playing, everyone knew what was coming. The Redskins drove 80 yards in 12 plays, kicking the Bears in their vaginas all the way down the field, and Roy Helu, Jr. punched the ball with :45 left in the game for the winning score. It was the 6^th drive of over 60 yards in the game for the Skins. That stat says enough. At least Brandon Meriweather proved himself to be the BIGGEST fucking moron in the NFL. I think this guy would hit his own grandmother in the head with his head if he had the chance. When will people realize this guy can’t play ball?? Half the times he hits people he knocks his own dumb ass out.

Now you got the recap, my personal thoughts on this game…

WHAT THE FUCK?? Seriously, this is the worst defense I’ve seen in Chicago in, well, ever. Granted, injuries piled up with Tillman, Briggs, James Anderson, Stephen Paea, Cutler, and Jeffrey all heading to the sideline at some point. Still, when your number gets called, step the fuck up. The safeties played HORRIBLE in this game, with Major Wright getting benched at one point for Craig Steltz. Chris Conte not only looks like a 3^rd grader, but played like one on Sunday as well. Safety might be a priority come the 2014 draft. I actually don’t blame Mel Tucker like most of Chicago is today. I don’t think that Tucker is the main reason the defense sucks. It seems to me that Lovie Smith prided himself on defense, and rode that D pretty hard when he was here. I think some of the players have taken a collective breath since he left and don’t appear to play with anywhere near the same intensity. Time for these geriatric fucks to get on their game or get on the bench. Josh fucking McCown put up 31 points and you can’t beat a shitty Washington team. If that’s not a wake-up call I don’t think anything short of cock slap to the cheek will work. If they don’t get something worked out in the next two weeks I can see Green Bay dropping 60 points on them. And that is NOT exaggerating.
I don’t think the Bears need to panic with Cutler’s injury, but they shouldn’t get too comfy either. Yes, McCown looked good in relief, and I’m glad Trestman didn’t really scale anything back with him. BUT….that was the Redskins. Can you see McCown doing as well against some of the better teams left on the schedule? I can’t. With everyone bashing Cutler, and saying he sucks, blah blah blah, just remember this: Cutler’s record in Chicago is 37-24. Not great, but not bad either, it IS a winning record. Bears back-ups (Todd Collins, Caleb Hanie, McCown, and Jason Campbell) in that span? 2-6.
Losing Lance Briggs to injury in the second half had a domino effect on the defense. With Bostic calling plays in his absence, the Bears had trouble getting lined up and in position. Washington saw that, took advantage, and ran no-huddle most of the 4^th quarter. Bostic played ok, and will only get better, but that was painful to watch. Briggs has been the best player on the defense BY FAR this year, and was on his way to another pro bowl. Losing him for 6 weeks is a bigger loss than Cutler. Having him and Peanut on the bench during a crucial set of drives in the 4^th quarter wasn’t a good sign, and hurt the defense greatly. Let’s hope Peanut is ok when he’s re-evaluated next week.
I was actually impressed with the Bears special teams on Sunday. You just knew Hester was going to break one soon. It was a matter of when and not if. Hopefully this gives him some confidence to break another one or two this season. I loved the play call by Joe DeCamillis to pull a surprise onside kick in the 4^th quarter. That is something that we never would have seen from Lovie Smith. It worked, too. I think that the penalty was a ticky-tack call, and was too big a moment in the game to have been called. The refs didn’t do any favors for either team.
As I watched the game on Sunday, I was messaging friends about what the Bears were doing, etc. etc. I sent a message right before Cutler got hurt that read, “Has Forte seriously only carried the ball 3 times?? WTF?” I’m sure Trestman will lean on Forte now even more with Cutler hurt, but why have they not been running him more? He shows that with every 3 or 4 two yard runs he will break one for anywhere between 9 and 50 yards. He’s a workhorse, and I know they use him in the passing game, but the Bears have seemingly become pass happy now that they have to prove they have a “quarterback whisperer” in Trestman. Don’t forget that running the ball will run the clock, which gives your ever-so-quickly aging defense a breather. If the Bears are not going to score, I’d rather have a 5 minute drive with 4 or 5 runs that ends in a punt than a 3 and out that takes 30 seconds off the clock.
I’m adding a 6^th point this week to point out one play in particular. In the 4^th quarter, with the game tied, RG3 heaved up a pass that floated 45 wobbly yards, and SHOULD have been intercepted. In fact, I think any team in the NFL could have intercepted that. With Aldrick Robinson streaking down field, Tillman released to the safety help that SHOULD have been there. As Tillman realized that his douchebag safety (Conte) was late getting over, he tried to back pedal enough to pick off a gift wrapped ball, but fell a couple yards short. Conte, on the other hand, just fell. Tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face, leaving Robinson able to pull in a TD pass that tied the game. Man, that guy is a total ass hat. I’ve always kind of liked him, and waited for him to show his potential, but as of this moment I’m officially on the “Chris Conte can go suck a dick” bandwagon. He is my “Christian Ponder/Brandon Weeden” of defense. The way McCown and Forte were playing, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that an interception there would have allowed the Bears to run some clock out and score.

Final Bears thought…

This team is in serious trouble. I’m always the optimist, so I’m not waving the white flag just yet, but this defense REALLY needs to pull each other’s heads out of their asses and do something. The Bears have finally put together an offense that can win games and now the defense can’t stop an old lady on a rascal. The special teams is improving, the offense is improving, and the defense continues to crap themselves. I’m not giving up on the season just yet, but after seeing the Packers schedule, I’m realizing it’s a race for second with Detroit, not 1^st. Green Bay is going to have that locked up before we know it. Chicago, on the other hand, just gave up 500 yards to the lowly Skins, and now they get Aaron Rodgers? That guy could make my 90 year-old neighbor an all-pro receiver. This just in: initial reports show that the Bears are fucked.

AROUND THE NFL

Seattle – 34 Arizona - 22

So now I’m convinced that Carson Palmer is just old and worthless now. He looks slow, inaccurate, and not what the Cardinals hoped for when they signed him. I’m guessing Arizona will be dipping into the QB-rich draft next year. Oh yeah, and Pete Carroll is still a douche.

Tampa Bay – 23 Atlanta - 31

Tampa took a hit losing Doug Martin. He accounted for 75% of the Bucs’ rushing yards so far this year. Now they go into next week with a rookie at QB, a rookie at RB, and Greg “don’t piss me off or I’ll rat you out” Schiano. Atlanta faired well without their top two wideouts, but I don’t know if this is a playoff team. They need to make some magic happen.

Cincinnati – 27 Detroit - 24

This was a great game to watch AJ Green and Calvin Johnson measure their dicks. Both these guys are monsters and are just fun to watch. The Lions looked as if they were set to take this game to OT until Sam Martin, the Lions rookie punter, choked and shanked a punt 28 yards. It set up Cincinnati to throw a couple quick strikes and get Mike Nugent in range for a 54 yard field goal, his second game winner in as many weeks. Jim Schwartz is a tool, so I was happy to see his team lose this way. He needs to learn what he can, can not, when, and what to challenge. Douchebag.

Buffalo – 23 Miami – 21

What the fuck, Buffalo? One week you suck, one week you’re good, and it’s always the week I don’t pick you. Poor Ryan Tannehill. This guy is ALWAYS running for his life. Miami traded for Bryant McKinnie on Monday like that’s going to make a fucking lick of difference. Miami’s first round pick next year? Jake Long’s replacement.

New England – 27 New York Jets – 30 (OT)

Oh, boo fucking hoo Bill Belichick. A call FINALLY didn’t go your way! Why don’t we get all whiny and bitch about it. You went to overtime against the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets and your team made Geno Smith look like a real QB. You deserved to lose.

Dallas – 17 Philadelphia – 3

Mike Vick, you’re most definitely back at starter. Nick Foles was terrible. And I mean I’d rather have Brandon Weeden at QB than Nick Foles on Sunday. At least the injury he suffered gave us a look at how everyone was right to pass on Matt Barkley. Barkley threw the same amount of interceptions in one quarter that Peyton Manning has thrown all year. HA!

St. Louis – 15 Carolina - 30

This game had animosity from the get go. Chris Long got ejected, the Rams were flagged for 5 personal foul penalties, and Janoris Jenkins learned to use Google. I don’t blame Steve Smith for being pissed, especially when an average CB is going to talk shit after getting his ass kicked up and down the field all day. St. Louis can essentially consider their season over after losing Bradford for the year. Kellen Clemons…..yeah……

San Diego – 24 Jacksonville - 7

Jacksonville became the first team since 1984 to lose their first 7 games by double digits. The 1984 Oilers lost their first 10 in that matter. Unless the Jags find a way to beat the Cardinals in a few weeks, they could easily beat that. This team is looking to be one of the worst in NFL history. They’re still more entertaining to watch than the New York Jets. Jacksonville has scored 76 points in 7 weeks. The Broncos put up 51 on Dallas a few weeks ago. That’s perspective.

San Francisco – 31 Tennessee - 17

Jake Locker played, but it felt like it was 2 weeks too early. As bad as Fitz is, Tennessee should have sat Locker one more game. Tennessee has the bye week next week, so there was no sense in playing him against San Fran. That said, he played a pretty good game. It just seemed like he came up lame a couple times. Kaepernick appears to be gaining his stride, and put together a solid performance. San Fran is on kind of a tear with a 4 game winning streak and Jacksonville up next. That should be fun.

Cleveland – 13 Green Bay - 31

Cleveland looked fucked right off the bat. You could tell that they were going to lose pretty much as soon as Weeden ran out of the tunnel. Aaron Rodgers is really damn good. The guy has no receivers and still finds a way to throw for 260 and 3 TD’s. What the hell?? I can’t wait until the Packers fall into quarterback mediocrity because mark my words, it WILL HAPPEN. Maybe not for another 20 years with the fuckin track record the Packers have with QB’s, but it’s coming. The day it happens I will laugh. And laugh some more. Scary hit Jermichael Finley took. I hate the Pack, but you never want to see a guy go down like that, and on what looked to be a clean hit. Hope he’s ok.

Houston – 16 Kansas City - 17

Case Keenum, you son of a bitch. If you ever want to predict how a new QB is going to perform for a team, just assume that the OPPOSITE of I what I say will come true. Yet another wrong prediction as Keenum played fairly well. Up until the last two minutes anyway. Not his fault, but you never want to be responsible for the game-losing fumble. Kansas City continues to look like the real deal. Maybe for Halloween I’ll be Ol’ Fat Stache….

Baltimore – 16 Pittsburgh - 19

As I said during my picks, this game was boring to me. Sorry Ravens and Steelers fans, but I didn’t watch one second of this game. Zero interest. Pittsburgh won? Hoorah. Joe Flacco is a bitch.

Denver at Indianapolis

Peyton returns to the “House That Peyton Built”. Damn good game, too. The Colts losing Reggie Wayne is killer. He’s been Andrew Luck’s favorite target, and was in line to surpass some records. He’s been a stand up guy for a lot of his career, and it sucks to see that happen to him. Peyton was Peyton-like with 386 yards passing and 3 TD’s, but how he got those numbers wasn’t. He did suffer a safety, Int, and was sacked a few times, and looked a bit off at times. ChuckStrong had this Colts team pumped. The Colts are starting to look like the real deal now with wins over San Fran, Seattle and Denver.

Minnesota at New York Giants

The Vikings did their best Jacksonville Jaguars impression in what could very well have been the worst game of the year. Eli was his usual sucky self, leaving about 28 points on the field in missed passes. Josh Freeman wasn’t any better, leaving his dignity on the field as he threw for the worst completion percentage by a starting quarterback in recent memory going 20-53 for 190 yards. I give him a pass on the award for worst player this week since it was his first game with the Vikes. Adrian Peterson only ran for 28 yards, and the Vikings looked every bit of a 1-5 team. Is this the start on the run that Antrelle Rolle predicted? I highly doubt it.

“Well You Didn’t Make a Lick of Difference” Performance of the Week:

The Eagles QB’s

Nick Foles

11/29, 80 yards, 0 TD, 0 Int

Matt Barkley

11/20, 129 yards, 0 TD, 3 Int

Wow….The Eagles QB’s looked so fucking bad. It actually made me feel good about the QB situation in Chicago. I don’t think I’ve said that since Erik Kramer was taking snaps.

“Holy Crap, I’m Awesome!???” Breakout Performance of the week:

Andy Dalton – QB – Cincinnati

24/34, 372 yards, 3 TD, 0 Int

I gave Dalton this award this week because he finally looked like the hype that followed him out of the draft a few years ago. I also gave this to him because I’m sure next week he’ll look mediocre like normal.