The Vampire Diaries: For Whom the Bell Tolls (S5: E4)

Damon and Stefan are driving down the road. Stefan is reading his journals, trying to remember who he is. He seems to believe he’s the fun, wild brother and Damon is the boring one (yeah, right). He makes a crack about Damon’s driving and, apparently no longer attached to his beautiful baby blue Mustang, Damon deliberately wrecks and they roll several times. I mean…Damon couldn’t think of a better way to prove he’s the fun brother? Why is this even a competition? They’re BOTH sexy as hell vampires, after all.

Caroline and Elena talk about Dr. Maxfield on the phone. Caroline is still at Whitmore, but she’s bringing Jesse, Maxfield’s hot TA, back to Mystic Falls for a “study date.” Her plan is to get better at biology so that Maxfield notices her and maybe then she can ask awkward questions.

Elena drops in on Stefan and Damon at the bar, where they’re drinking booze heavily and Stefan is hungry for people blood. Stefan has no idea who Elena is. Damon quickly explains he hasn’t gotten to that part of the story. Stefan disappears and tries to feed on a cute waitress in the back room, but Damon stops him just in the nick of time.

Matt wants Jeremy to get Bonnie. He explains that he’s losing time, hours of time, and Jeremy asks about the Gilbert ring but Matt knows it isn’t the ring. He says Nadia put something inside his head, which is why Silas couldn’t compel him, and he wants it gone. Jeremy hedges about Bonnie, and where she is, and why she isn’t taking Matt’s calls or answering his emails. Then he runs for it.

Damon and Elena take Stefan to the family crypt - everyone is Mystic Falls in honoring those they lost by camping out in the cemetery. Damon calls a call from Jeremy demanding his presence at the Salvatore boarding house, because he knows where Bonnie is. Damon takes off and leaves Stefan to Elena.

They ditch the cemetery in favor of the high shcool, where Elena explains who she is (sort of) and bumps into Stefan over and over by the bathroom where they first met. Supposedly, this is an attempt to jog his memory but even Stefan knows it’s bullshit. He calls her on it, and Elena looks all embarrassed because the truth is she just wanted to bump into Stefan a bunch of times. ONE BROTHER AT A TIME, Elena. Jesus.

Stefan guesses that they must have dated. Why else would he go back to high school? (I’m sure he didn’t figure it out because Elena was giving him come-hither eyes and brushing up against him.) Elena admits that they did. He asks if they broke up because his Ripper of Monterey side scared her. She tells him it’s because she changed after becoming a vampire.

In the cemetery, Jesse quizzes Caroline. She bitches briefly about Tyler, and Jesse steals a kiss. It’s awkward, and he quickly goes back to asking her questions about biology.

Damon meets up with Jeremy. It still seems to take AGES for him to spill the beans about Bonnie. Just do it, Jeremy, she’s been dead for months. Damon is distressed not about Bonnie but because he knows Elena will be devastated. Damon takes a moment to try and digest this new information before striding back across the room and giving Jeremy the most manly, abrupt hug ever. Still, it was sweet of him. (Kind of makes me miss the evil, get-things-done Damon though.)

Back at Wickery Bridge, Elena tells Stefan about how she died because he saved Matt instead. When Stefan declares himself a moron, Elena tells him he always cared about what she wanted, and that’s why he was so terrific. He says “it’s working” and that he isn’t hungry anymore. Elena is a lovely distraction, basically. She tells him she was never afraid of him, even at his worst, and they get really quiet. Elena, apparently forgetting Damon momentarily, goes to kiss Stefan. She stops herself and Stefan tells her not to. She has to confess that she’s with Damon. Stefan does not take the news very well.

Matt watches a video of himself being possessed by the Traveler. This is supposed to be spooky and intriguing, I can tell, but I don’t care about Matt (I’m a bitch, I know) so I really can’t get into this whole storyline. If we’re going to fuck with Matt, just make him a vampire already. Everyone else is, and Matt as a vampire might actually be interesting.

Damon calls Elena to tell her about Bonnie (not over the phone, I hope, that shit needs to be dealt with in person) and Elena tells him Stefan took off after she told him about the two of them. She wisely leaves out the almost-kiss.

Stefan proceeds to get drunk and angry, and runs into Caroline in the cemetery. She offers to get him a blood bag from her car after he openly threatens to eat Jesse, and he agrees but when she turns around he’s gone.

She finds him eating Jesse in the Salvatore family crypt, and barely manages to save Jesse’s life by feeding him her blood.

Jeremy tells Matt, finally, that Bonnie is a goner.

Back at home, Stefan is busy burning his journals when Elena and Damon come back. Elena gets all chirpy and nervous, “What are you doing, Stefan?” He says he’s leaving. He doesn’t want to be the guy in his journals, who loses his girlfriend to his brother. He doesn’t want to be nice, compassionate Stefan. He tells them Caroline will be helping him, because he actually trusts her. After his parting shot he leaves, and Damon says he thinks they’ve been dumped.

Everybody gathers in the woods for Bonnie’s memorial. Tyler shows up looking somber, and holds Caroline. Damon comforts Elena. Matt looks like he misses Rebekah. Jeremy holds ghost-Bonnie’s hand, and it’s all very sad if you liked Bonnie’s character.

My big concern is that the previews indicate Damon is going to try and get Bonnie back, which is one of his worst ideas EVER.

Maxfield is in his lab, running tests on Jesse. Jesse explains that he went to Remembrance Day with  Caroline Forbes but he doesn't  remember anything after that. Maxfield deduces that Jesse must have been fed vampire blood and compelled, and then jabs him with a needle to kill him because that’s how you create a vampire. WHAT? Okay, I’m worried Maxfield is making his own army of vampires or something weird and similar to that. But my money is still on the Salvatore brothers.