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By V
Just as last week’s “Burn, Witch Burn!” was my favorite episode of the season, this episode was probably my least favorite. Balance, I guess. There’s always one each season I’m not that excited about and it usually comes soon after my favorite. So I’m not surprised. I’m not saying this episode was terrible and that I hated it. Not at all. But for me, it was just meh. A filler of sorts (a filler with some answered and unanswered questions). A set up for the rest of the season. Which is fine with me as long as the rest of the season is great, just as the first half of this season was. Oh please let it be great.
What I did love about this episode was the real life history that was brought in with the Axeman story. Ryan Murphy has had the tendency to do this in past seasons, with The Black Dahlia in Season 1, “Anne Frank” in Season 2, and with Madame LaLaurie and Marie Laveau and now the Axeman this season. I love Murphy’s re-telling and/or re-imagining of the stories. It’s definitely one of my favorite things about this show. So let’s begin.
New Orleans, 1919
In the opening scene, we meet the Axeman. He is typing a letter to the police department, describing how on the next Tuesday night, he will be passing through New Orleans, and whoever is playing jazz music will be spared from death. He has newspaper articles about himself plastered on his walls.
It appears he works or plays the saxophone in a bar, at least on that Tuesday night that he promised he would be wandering around New Orleans enjoying his jazz music or enjoying his slaughtering of those who aren’t listening to jazz music. A waitress at the bar, who refers to him as “Joe”, asks him to walk her home. He asks if she is afraid of the Axeman, and tells her she shouldn’t be afraid, she has rhythm in her soul.
Meanwhile, we meet the Coven girls of 1919. There were quite a few more than what we have in 2013. The witches are reading the Axeman’s letter which was published in the newspaper, and discussing whether or not they should play jazz music that night. The head witch, Millie, doesn’t think they should do what he says. They are woman (and witches) hear them roar basically.
As the Axeman walks around town, enjoying the jazz music being played everywhere, nodding at people and smiling, he comes across Miss Robichaux’s Academy. Instead of playing jazz music, they are playing opera (ugh, I’d so rather listen to jazz). He walks right in and up to a room where Millie is sitting playing tarot cards in the dark. As she pulls the death card, he tells her she has no one to blame for herself, he gave them fair warning. She tells him that the reading is not for her, it’s for him. She somehow teleports around him and stabs him. Then, in total Julius Caesar style, all the witches appear and each and everyone of them stabs him, repeatedly. It must have been Wednesday, they were all wearing black. Oh wait, it was a Tuesday. I guess they compromised.
Miss Robichaux’s Academy 2013
Zoe is going through a box of Madison’s belongings, which included a magazine with Madison on the cover (article titled “I Do What I Want” lol), sunglasses, a blinged out set of headphones, and a gun. She pulls out a scarf (?) and out of the scarf falls a tiny vodka bottle, which conveniently rolls right over to a secret cubby behind the clothes in the closet. In this room she finds some old pictures of the past witches from the academy along with a Ouija Board. *SIDE NOTE* I get freaked out just by typing the name of that. See my episode superlatives post for why. *END SIDE NOTE*
Zoe shows Queenie and Nan the pictures and comments about how the number of witches in the pictures, throughout the years, reduces with each picture. Nan can’t focus on anything but Luke, and Zoe tells her to focus. She pours them all a drink of Absinthe, which is a crazy strong alcohol (I’m talking like 140 proof). She tells them about the Ouija Board and says that the Ouija Board found her. She wants to find Madison, and Queenie tells the girls that the Ouija Board is not a game, that there are 2 stages of the board, contact and release. After convincing the girls to play, Zoe asks the board if they are alone. After playing for like a minute, the spirit tells them he was murdered in the house by them. They don’t know what he means. He tells them his name - A X E M A N. Queenie freaks, stops everything, she’s done.
They do some research on the Axeman and realize that witches killed him. Zoe is eager to use the board again to contact him, but the girls are like hell no. So Zoe decides to play by herself. After offering the Axeman release, he tells her to check the attic for Madison, which she does, and finds her body. Spaulding is hiding in the shadows and grabs her from behind, but she is able to fight him off.
Knowing Spaulding cannot speak, but that Nan can read minds, the girls start to question him about Madison while threatening to torture him with a burning spatula. He tells them (through his thoughts) that he killed Madison, he was always obsessed with her and that he had sex with her dead body (did he?!). Queenie gets pissed, and burns her face with the hot spatula, which in turn transfers the burns to his face. He passes out.
Misty Day and the Bayou
Misty has been pretty busy gardening and watering plants in her garden down at the bayou (why do I say that with an accent in my head?). She is not only watering plants, but she is also watering Myrtle Snow, who is buried in that Louisiana mud, healing. Myrtle’s hand comes out of the dirt, and Misty covers it back up, telling her that she needs to have some patience, it won’t be to much longer. She is startled by Kyle, who suddenly appears behind her (I knew he’d go back!). He must stink to high heavens because she tells him he needs a bath. She bathes him, and he completely PTSD’s out, seeing visions of his disgusting mother, and he rips apart her cabin in the bayou. But worse, he destroys her only sanctuary. Her 8 track which of course only plays Stevie Nicks. He broke Stevie :( At that same moment, Zoe walks in, all like hey I need your help you are coming with me even though I only use you when I need you.. whatev.. freeloader.
Miss Robichaux’s Academy
What Zoe wants from Misty is for her to resurrect Madison. She brings Misty and Kyle to Cordelia’s garden witch room and chains Kyle up (lol). Misty tells Zoe that Kyle and Zoe belong together and Zoe tells her that ain’t going to happen, he killed his mama dukes (every time I think of his mom I want to puke). They end up reviving Madison, who starts spitting up blood and roaches and ewwwww.. After she is done roach puking, she tells them she needs a cigarette. Classic first words. Would totally expect that from Fiona (or Constance or Jude).
Somehow they end up back in the house, and Misty is taking food and bagels. They are all just watching her, not saying anything about it, because that’s like totally normal (actually in my opinion Misty deserves to take that crap.. she needs some sort of repayment from Zoe, geez). Misty tells Zoe she is not taking Kyle, he is a walking tornado (more like a walking with I dont know whose legs tornado). Zoe wants her to stay the night (oh how nice), and Misty wants to go home, to her cabin in the bayou, to be alone.. Zoe is confused because she thought Misty was looking for her tribe and Misty is like F that, you witches are giving me bad vibes, there’s some foul sh*t going on in this house, you ain’t my tribe. Love her!
Later, Madison asks if she was in a car accident. She remembers who she is, that she won 2 Teen Choice Awards. They give her ginger ale and she throws it up. She tells them there is nothing on the other side. Just black.. forever..
Fiona/Cordelia/Hank
I guess at some point Fiona decides to go through with the chemo treatments. And to think she wanted to go out in style (her words not mine). Confused.. But anyways, during her treatment, she realizes she has developed a new power. To read minds. The thoughts of the other patients are driving her bonkers, so she decides to rip her IV out and try to leave. The doctor stops her and convinces her to sit back down. She must have mistaken the doctor for her hairdresser or something, as she starts telling him how she is doing this for her daughter, and she wants one more great love affair, yada yada. The doctor tells her to have hope. You know, cause his mom found love on E Harmony and is on a cruise right now with the man in Nova Scotia.
Once she is back at the house, Fiona is in Cordelia’s bedroom (right?) pondering her life it seems. In walks Cordelia and Hank. Hank tells Fiona that Delia made it up the stairs all by herself (good for her!). She must smell the roses in the room, because she is pissed that they are there. She is not in the mood for no love or romance with her cheating man. Oh no, she needs chrysanthemums for strength and protection. Hank touches her and she again sees flashes of him with Kaylee. She asks him who the red head is, he of course has no idea what she is talking about (who would remember having sex with and then killing a red head like the night before). She tells him to get the f out and opens the door for him with her mind. Holy crap, we actually see Cordelia use a power! She tells him that he will be accountable for each and every betrayal (foreshadow much?). He pathetically begs her, he loves her (barf barf barf) and then leaves. Cordelia tells her mother she wanted to rip off his arms and throw him out the window (I think we all do). Fiona tries to help her undress, but as she touches her, Delia sees a vision of Myrtle burning at the stake. She refers to her as “Auntie Myrtle”. She is filled with grief, and it is more apparent than ever how close Myrtle and Delia were. Fiona leaves her to herself (good call Fi).
Hank/Marie Laveau
Who saw this coming? Not me, that’s for sure! WTF! So we learn that Marie Laveau hired Hank six years ago to get rid of all of the descendants from Salem. He confronts her about the acid being thrown in Cordelia’s face, and Marie denies she had anything to do with that, telling him if she wanted to blind Cordelia she wouldn’t even need to leave her room. Hank is in panic mode over Cordelia’s new sight. We learn that he has killed 9 witches in three years, five of which he learned of from Cordelia’s research, as she was trying to recruit new witches to the academy. One of those witches was Kaylee. Yes, the red head.. The “young” Moira from Season One. Poor girl. Anyways, we see a quick flashback of Cordelia interviewing Kaylee, trying to recruit her. But Kaylee isn’t interested. She just wants to get married and have three kids. As they speak, Hank is listening from the shadows. God I cannot stand him. Anyways, back in Marie Laveau’s voodoo house/hair salon, Marie is pissed at him, telling hm he was supposed to clean house, not play house. She tells him he was hard but went soft, and that she thinks he’s in love with Cordelia. She is so pissed about Bastian and about Madame LaLaurie being released from her “tomb” and tells Hank to bring her all of the witches heads. All of them.
Cordelia/Axeman/Coven Girls
Cordelia is getting changed into her night clothes when senses someone in her room. Bom bom bommmmm.. It’s the Axeman. He wants release. He chases her around the room a bit, in which she puts on an awesome fight for being blind. The Coven girls are downstairs and hear her screaming and then jazz music. They realize what’s going on and try to get into the bedroom but they can’t. Zoe runs downstairs, uses her powers to find a spell book and perform a spell which ends up releasing him.
He now seems to be in full human form. He is able to leave the house, go to the bar, and hit on Fiona (after she pulls out some hair). The end. Of the episode that is.
Grade
B-
So all in all, like I said, the episode was just okay in my opinion. We did find out more about Hank, but what we did find out leads to a bunch of new questions (see superlatives posts). We were also given the set up for the second half of this season, which appears to focus on the war between the coven witches and the voodoo witches (are they witches?), Cordelia’s new sight and the things she will find out about her mother and Hank, Misty finding her new tribe (see superlatives posts for my theory/prediction on this), a love story between the Axeman and Fiona, another possible love story (see superlatives posts for theory/prediction about who or shall I say what), who the new Supreme will be (still thinking it’s not Zoe, but Misty), and knowing Ryan Murphy much more craziness (hopefully) to come.
Dont forget to check out all of my superlatives posts!
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