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Week 15 record
9-7
Season record
115-75-1 (I started picks in week 3)
A pretty average week last week. Games that screwed me included the Broncos, Cowboys, and the Redskins in all their failing glory. Hopefully this week I can get back on track. Only two weeks of regular season left. I don’t know about you, but I like the way the NFL has made the last two weeks of the season mostly divisional games. I think that’s awesome.
Here’s my picks for Week 16!
Miami at Buffalo
EJ Manuel was ruled out this week with a knee sprain, and I don’t know that Thad Lewis can control the surging Dolphins. Miami is fighting to get back into the 6th playoff spot, and need to win the last two games. Buffalo is dead in the water and would just like to win again. Want in one hand, shit in the other. See which fills up first.
Pick: Dolphins
Minnesota at Cincinnati
Minnesota shocked a lot of people last week beating up on Philadelphia without Adrian Peterson and Toby Gerhart, but can they do it two weeks in a row? The Bengals are fighting for the division and are at home.
Pick: Bengals
Indianapolis at Kansas City
Indianapolis woke up last week, but it was against Houston, who have now lost 12 straight. I’m pretty sure the Cook County Amputee Children Boys Choir could win against Houston right now. Kansas City is gaining steam and still in a fight for the division thanks to the Chargers. Andy Reid brings an early Christmas present to the Chiefs.
Pick: Chiefs
Tampa Bay at St. Louis
Greg Schiano is as good as fired. I don’t even think winning his last two would matter, and I think he knows it. Jeff Fisher will have the Rams playing hard the last two weeks.
Pick: Rams
Cleveland at New York Jets
I think Cleveland’s defense outplays the Jets defense this week. Every time I’ve picked the Jets with my first instinct they’ve lost, so when it happened again this week I went against it.
Pick: Browns
Dallas at Washington
I really want to pick Washington and Kirk Cousins this week. Dallas’ defense is so bad. They resemble that old Electronic Football game. You remember? The one where you pick a team, turn it on, the board/field vibrates, and all the players move around aimlessly running into themselves. I still think the Dallas offense can win this game, but I also think the defense blows it again. If last week didn’t seal Jason Garrett’s fate, this week will in my Upset Pick Of The Week.
Pick: Redskins
New Orleans at Carolina
New Orleans is kind of a mess right now, and Carolina is surprisingly still in play to win this division. I think the Panthers will come to play, but I also think Brees will too, seeing as how they’ve lost some tough games as of late. I still think the Saints can be a very dangerous team in the playoffs.
Pick: Saints
Tennessee at Jacksonville
Jacksonville has been playing pretty good ball lately, except for last week. Tennessee showed some moxie almost beating Arizona last week, but I still can’t trust Ryan Fitzpatrick. I’ll take the home team here, and the pick would be with the home team regardless in this matchup.
Pick: Jaguars
Denver at Houston
Ha. Ha ha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Pick: Broncos
New York Giants at Detroit
If there was ever a time I would want Eli Manning to not suck and whine, it would be this week. Detroit has successfully taken their playoff hopes out of their own hands and now must rely on the Bears and Packers collapsing. I don’t see it happening, and I also don’t see Jim Schwartz retaining his job after a bigger choke job than Jenna Jameson. Doesn’t mean the Giants don’t totally blow either.
Pick: Lions
Arizona at Seattle
I really want to pick Arizona this week, as they have much more to play for. Seattle, however, is just (ugh!) too good to lose at home to an average Cardinals team. Pete Carroll said he was giving out handys if the Seahawks win.
Pick: Seahawks
Pittsburgh at Green Bay
This is a simple pick. If Rodgers plays, the Packers win. If Flynn plays, the Packers lose. At the time I posted this, Rodgers wasn’t cleared yet. Let’s hope it stays that way. Either way, this guy will be there keeping Green Bay classy….
Pick: Steelers
Oakland at San Diego
Oakland is a mess, and I think San Diego is heating up at the right time. I hate that, too, because Phillip Rivers really annoys me. He has talent and everything, but I’m pretty sure he’s the type of guy that if not for the NFL, would be living at home while his mom brought him milk and cookies at bedtime every night. Just sayin’…….
Pick: Chargers
New England at Baltimore
One of the games of the week, Baltimore coming off a win and New England coming off a loss. I know New England can’t score in the red zone without Gronk, but Baltimore can’t score at all. Justin Tucker has got to be the MVP of this offense this year, and as much as it helps having a good kicker, you need an offense to support him.
Pick: Patriots
Chicago at Philadelphia
Oh, man. As a Bears fan, these are the games that I always get my hopes up for, only to have the Bears choke a big one when it matters most. This will be a big test for Marc Trestman to see if he has what it takes to coach a team when the pressure is on. One reason for optimism is that the Bears are 4-0 in night games this year. We know the offense can score, but can they play at that level when it matters most? Lance Briggs seems in line to play, which should help the run defense. It doesn’t exact a whole lot of confidence, however. Fantasy playoffs, and some finals are this week. If you own LeSean McCoy, and you are not playing him this week against the Bears run defense, you are a complete fucking moron and deserve to lose your league while you wet your pants. It doesn’t look good for the Bears, and I hope they and Trestman prove my doubts wrong. In Trestman we trust????
Pick: Bears
Atlanta at San Francisco
Atlanta sucks. They barely beat a horrible Redskins team last week, and the 49ers have Super Bowl sights set.
Pick: 49ers
