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A below average week last week, but a few teams seem to be mailing it in now that the playoffs are looming. So here is week 17, the last week before the playoffs. It’s been a fun season, and with 13 games with playoff implications, all division games, and all Sunday games it sounds like it will be a fun week! I hope everyone had a great Christmas and hope you all have a Happy New Year!!!
Week 16 record
7-9
Season record
122-84-1 (I started picks in week 3)
Here’s my picks for Week 17!
Carolina at Atlanta
Carolina is playing for the division and Atlanta is still pretty horrible.
Pick: Panthers
Baltimore at Cincinnati
It’s hard to trust the Ravens after last week’s debacle.
Pick: Bengals
Houston at Tennessee
I think Houston keeps their title alive for the first overall pick in the 2014 draft.
Pick: Titans
Jacksonville at Indianapolis
Indianapolis keeps roiling here as they warm up for the playoffs.
Pick: Colts
New York Jets at Miami
Miami needs a win and some help. The Jets are going to be playing for Rex Ryan to keep his job. If Miami can keep Tannehill upright then they have a shot. That’s a big if.
Pick: Miami
Detroit at Minnesota
In a game that means absolutely nothing, I think Detroit comes out hapless with it fresh in their minds how they threw away the best chance they’ve had at making the playoffs. Jim Schwartz is a lame duck coach, and Minnesota is still deciding what to do with Leslie Frazier.
Pick: Vikings
Washington at New York Giants
I hate picking Eli Manning to win when I need to, I’m sure as hell not going to pick him to win in a game I could give two shits about. Go Kirk Cousins!
Pick: Redskins
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh is coming off a close game with Green Bay and need a win to keep their playoff hopes alive. Cleveland has struggled as of late, but I can see them winning this game for some reason in my Upset Pick of the Week.
Pick: Browns
Green Bay at Chicago
It all comes down to this. Bears vs. Packers for the division. Cutler healthy, Rodgers healthy, and all excuses can get thrown out the window. As a Bears fan, I obviously wanted Flynn to start this game, but I’m kind of happy Rodgers is playing. If either of these sorry ass teams get to go to the playoffs, they should beat the other team’s best QB to do it. I hope I’m wrong with this pick, but I think Rodgers gets it done and Lacy on one ankle can still drop 175 on this shit-ass collection of stuffed animals the Bears call a defense.
Pick: Packers
Denver at Oakland
Peyton Manning has one more game to add to his TD record, and one more game to look good before the “collapses in the playoffs” talks start.
Pick: Broncos
Buffalo at New England
I can’t picture a scenario here where New England loses this game. Maybe if they come in flat after making the playoffs, but they’re still playing for seeding, so I imagine they’ll show up enough to beat the Bills.
Pick: Patriots
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
I’ve picked New Orleans plenty this season, and they seem to lose every time I do it. How this team isn’t rolling people week to week I’ll never understand. They should beat an underachieving Bucs team saying adios to its coach though.
Pick: Saints
San Francisco at Arizona
Calais Campbell said this week that the Cards are the best team in the NFC. They will come into Sunday hungry knowing that the only chance of the playoffs is to win AND get help. If this team goes 11-5 and misses the playoffs, that would be a shame.
Pick: Cardinals
Kansas City at San Diego
My theory about Eli Manning holds true here as well. I dislike Philip Rivers just as much, so seeing him lose would be fantastic. I think San Diego might actually win, because KC is in, and San Diego is playing to get in, but I can’t bring myself to pick Rivers.
Pick: Chiefs
St. Louis at Seattle
You think Seattle will lose two in a row at home? Me neither. Oh, and Pete Carroll is still a douche.
Philadelphia at Dallas
Oh, how I would absolutely love for Neckbeard to lead Dallas to a victory. Too bad he has a bunch of roided up chimps playing defense. And Jon Kitna?? Really?? How bad is your QB position that you sign a 41 year old high school coach 3 years retired to back up your back up? Tony Romo was officially ruled out after undergoing back surgery. Looks like he can’t get Dallas to the promised land now…
Pick: Eagles
Now, I don’t always come up with my own memes. There’s a couple sites I go to and find some, but I do write a lot of my own. If it’s not your bag, then so be it. I think they’re funny.
