Shameless: My Oldest Daughter (S4: E2)

Best of the Episode:

Veronica shrieks about needing a vet instead of a doctor because she’s having a litter (triplets!). Kev brags about his “magic dick.”

Frank pours alcohol INTO HIS EYES. This was horrifying, but an excellent demonstration of the disease and the desperation it causes. (Also, maybe slightly less horrifying than last week’s rectal shot.)

Frank tells Fiona he’ll just have his oldest daughter donate her liver to save his sorry ass. Meaning there’s another Gallagher running around somewhere, which shouldn’t have been a surprise but kind of was.

Worst of the Episode:

Fiona’s boss, whatever his name is. He’s pretty, but he’s too annoying and moral to become a significant character (I hope?). WAH, why didn’t you call? WAH, why didn’t you tell the truth? I’m inclined to agree with Carl, who wrote him off after finding out he doesn’t steal cars or light bloody clothes on fire in the backyard. Jimmy had his faults (PANSY), but at least he was entertaining.

Debbie admits to being thirteen, and the dumbass she’s trying to date serves up chicken. Granted, he doesn’t seem happy about it or anything, but it’s obvious her age is something he’s willing to overlook. I was morally outraged, which means I’m just as annoying as Fiona’s boss – I haven’t bothered to learn his name.

Most Heartbreaking Moment:

Fiona and Frank have the same rare blood type, but Fiona refuses to help her father. Carl is too young to understand her decision, and Frank is too much of a dick to explain it to him.

Predictions for the Future:

Let’s speculate about Frank’s “oldest daughter.” I have my doubts she’s going to be like the other Gallagher children. Considering their fucked up lives, Fiona, Lip, Ian, Debbie, Carl, and Liam are all remarkably well-adjusted. Fiona isn’t pregnant and has insurance and a full-time job. Lip is in college. Ian is in the military. Debbie isn’t YET pregnant, and seems to do well in school and stay out of trouble. Carl is the wild card, but he hasn’t been arrested and given his proclivities I find that impressive. Liam is obviously too young to get into trouble, but you get the idea. When a destructive alcholic procreates, at least ONE of the resulting kids is going to be a headcase. I’m going with the odds here.

Debbie will probably lose her virginity, and soon after, that loving feeling.