The Blacklist: The One Where Gina Zanetakos is a Bad Ass (S1:E6) Gina Zanetakos

By: Baby Z

BE SURE TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE BLACKLIST’S EPISODE 6 “KICK ASS REDDINGTON QUOTES” ARTICLE, ALONG WITH THE “UNANSWERED QUESTIONS VOL. 3” ARTICLE, IN WHICH I WILL ALSO COVER SOME OF THE PREVIOUS VOLUME’S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS WITH ANSWERS!

“Gina Zanetakos” starts off showing someone doing cocaine, building a bomb, blowing up car while a woman witnesses it. She asks the bomb builder if he can make it radioactive. He confirms he can in 48 hours, she responds she wants it in 36 and walks away, thus indicating she’s somewhat a bad ass.

Meanwhile, Tom & Lizzie are having it out at their house, Tom is claiming no knowledge of the “secret box” or any of its continents, is angry that she would think he’s responsible for the Russian spy’s death at Angel Station. He even calls himself “Tom Bond” at one point. If I’m not mistaken, isn’t he doing every single thing that guilty people do, from getting angry & defensive, turning it around on the other person then they try to make jokes about whatever it is, this moves on to attempting to guilt the other person into feeling bad for doubting them, and finally attempting to call her bluff by challenging her to call the FBI. Being a profiler - shouldn’t she know all of this? Lizzie calls FBI, both Keens are brought in, Tom with Malik and Lizzie’s put on leave until further notice by Cooper.

So of course, she meets up with RR who tells her about this episode’s villain, Gina Zanetakos, a corporate terrorist, and the best of the bunch. If Lizzie wants to find the truth about her hubby, she needs to find Gina, because RR tells her she is also Tom’s lover.

Tom maintains his innocence, that he was in Boston during the same time of the murder for an interview and gives her the name of the school that it was a Walter Burris he interviewed with. Malik points out how odd it was that Walter had Tom meet him at Angel Station rather than at the school for his interview.

Ballistics confirm the gun was the one used to kill Folken. But a partial print on one of the magazine casings was NOT Tom’s, nor did it bring up any matches in their database. Cooper informs Ressler/Malik that RR has brought them another case, Ressler and Malik both have issue with Lizzie working while her husband’s under questioning, but Cooper basically doesn’t give a shit.

Lizzie’s briefing on Zanetakos: She has an assumed name Shubie (really?) Hartwell, who reached out to RR the year before to broker a deal to have a Supreme Court judge assassinated who was the swing vote in a case that could have cost her clients billions. After a quick search on Shubie, we discover she arrived in the US the previous day and her credit card had just been used an hour ago buying drinks. Also, Lizzie tells Cooper she feels like she’s seen Shubie before.

Meanwhile, “Shubie” is about to have sexy time with a gentleman who upon the hope of getting a piece of Shubie ass, pulls out confirmation that her shipment is officially on its way, she takes off her shirt, revealing a kick ass outfit (and body) and while biting his neck, injects him with something that, of course, kills him. I did my damndest to find a picture of said outfit and was completely unsuccessful.

During this, Malik is at the Rothwell School meeting with Walter Burris, she shows him a picture of Tom asking if he’s the one he met at Angel Station coffee shop to interview him and before we get an answer, we cut back to Shubie who’s covering her tracks in the hotel room, leaving a bottle of prescription pills next to the dead dude, removing her wig, etc.., She walks out and as she gets to elevator it beeps so she 180’s it, and Lizzie & Ressler are literally about 2 seconds behind her. Of course Ressler’s doing his weekly “I don’t trust you” routine with Lizzie about her even being involved in anything FBI-related right now.

They discover dude’s dead body, Ressler leaves room to check security footage, just as Shubie is getting on elevator when, of course, she gets stopped just as the doors about to close by what appear to be an entire girl’s volleyball team. And, as the door was closing AGAIN, Ressler stops it and gets on, He’s on his phone, Shubbie tries to remain unnoticed but when they get to main floor, Ressler is all of a sudden a gentleman and holds the elevator door open for the v-ball team, only when they exit, he sort of senses that 1 person is still there. He barely gets his head turned around when WHAMMMMMO!! Shubie knocks him straight into next week and a bad ass elevator fight ensues.

I gotta say, I am loving me some Shubie - she’s one bad ass bitch.

Lizzie finds dead guy’s cell phone in his jacket pocket, Ressler gets his ass handed to him & briefly loses consciousness from a killer head lock a la Shubie and wakes up just at the same that Lizzie finds Shubie’s name in dude’s phone and calls the number. Turns out, Shubie’s cell phone dropped in the elevator during the fight because it’s Ressler who answers. When Lizzie asks why he has her phone and did he catch her and stop her, Ressler awesomely answers “Not exactly” while still laying on the elevator floor bleeding and ass kicked.

We discover back at FBI headquarters that upon analyzing Shubie’s phone, it was, and I quote, a treasure trove of messages, that she was in constant contact with a multinational company, but stating more worrisome than THAT was a call that came in 3 hours ago from Belgium stating a change of plans and they’d be going with Cobalt 60, so the FBI knows there’s a dirty bomb involved but has no idea the target.

OK can I just say that wouldn’t someone of her particular “level” of crime on the totem pole have safeguards against anyone so easily obtaining her messages?

Lizzie/RR meet again and she tells him their best guess on the dirty bomb target is central US (based on the 4pm central time message they intercepted,) dead dude from hotel was Nidi Midris, an attache at the Turkish embassy. RR basically said Gina’s not going to detonate the bomb, someone hired her and asks if they have found proof of Gina’s connection to Tom yet, at which Lizzie lashes out that there hasn’t been one link between the two and that Tom is innocent damn it.

Malik returns from her meeting with Walter Burris, and asks Tom if the man in a photo she hands him was the man he interviewed with and he was not. Lizzie’s watching from the next room and she says aloud to herself that he’s being set up. Tom brings up that someone’s doing this to him, mentions the picture taken of him leaving the hotel and this sparks something in Lizzie. She grabs the photo of Tom outside the hotel from evidence board and, walking about 15 feet from him is what appears to be Shubie.

Ressler/Lizzie arrive with several geared up enforcement agents at where I’m assuming Shubie was staying. Of course she’s not there so the scour her room finding a plethora of guns, various papers, Lizzie sits down to read something and notices a silver hinge on the floor next to her, a hinge to a vent that contains an identical wooden box to the one she found in her & Tom’s home. This box contains many “Shubie” passports but also several pictures, including that of the hotel dude she killed earlier and also one Viktor Folken.

Lizzie comes to the conclusion that Gina was the one who killed Folken and that she’s actually an assassin, just in time for one of the geared up enforcement agents to procure a book by Shubie’s bed that contained a picture of Tom with someone’s arm around him, but the picture doesn’t show whose arm. Ressler takes the photo from her for evidence and is suddenly on her side again when he tells her that it’s admirable she’s sticking by Tom but that she needs to start thinking about protecting herself it looks like.

Next we find Lizzie/RR at a gazebo in a park, she tells him about Tom’s picture in “Shubie’s” book and says that even though Tom denies knowing her it’s clearly not the case and that part of her is saying that RR is behind the entire thing trying to ruin her life (uh, why exactly?) Shes crying, if Tom isn’t who she’s thought he was, doesn’t know how she’ll handle everything without him. They have a touching “you can trust me” moment, she tells him she needed him to be wrong about Tom and he grabs her hand.

Later between Lizzie/Ressler/Cooper: Cooper’s telling Lizzie he thinks if she comes across incriminating evidence against Tom in the field, he thinks she’ll suppress it. They discuss that from Gina’s’ hard drive they found money she wired to the bomb making dude (Maxwell Rudiger) in Belgium. Despite pretty much hating her, doubting her, and at one point flat out calling her a possible accomplice, they’re gonna have to go ahead and continue using her so RR will track the bomb dude down mmmmkay?

Lizzie returns to RR’s place & he’s on the phone with Hakim again (whom he was conducting an art transaction with at the beginning of the episode) sternly telling him he absolutely will not ship the painting out with having received payment, out as he hasn’t received payment yet, and that his sources tell him the wire was diverted to New Orleans. He hangs up on Hakim and has a chat about bomb dude, stating he’s a tremendous bomb maker. Lizzie informs RR of the wire transfer from Gina to Rudiger, so RR states that Rudiger then is the link - the one that can get her to Gina who can get her to Tom.

After asking for his help finding Rudiger, RR jumps on a plane and the next scene he’s opening a bottle of wine with Rudiger, pontificating that he knows Rudiger’s using the Cobalt 60 and that they both know there’s only 1 reputable Cobalt supplier and that’s “their friend” Yuri. He tells him that is a problem because once the bomb leads the FBI to Yuri, he will lead them to RR. RR asks Rudiger for help in telling him about the device he’s made for Gina, but Rudiger won’t betray her trust just like he wouldn’t do that to RR and RR tells him, oh well too bad so sad I have a really interesting deal going down in Syria and I’m playing all sides, thought there might be a part in it for you but…guess not, which - of course - gets Rudiger talking. (And, I just typed that before seeing Rudiger’s reaction to this bait….let’s see if I’m right….)

DING DING DING DING… Rudiger’s telling RR all about the car that he’s turned into a bomb. Contamination radius of 5 miles, detonate in 19 hours, doesn’t know where, RR tells him to call Gina, says he just needs to know where she is and that him telling RR will never come back on Rudiger.

We assume this worked because in the next scene, Ressler/Lizzie and a slew of geared up and undercover agents are ready to raid Zanetakos’ location when Ressler says he knows Lizzie will want to kill her but she can’t. She’s like “Uhhh..no… I want to TALK to her dumbass….” Ressler orders no shots fired so as to avoid the news. Um, how do you order no shots fired before you even know what you’re about to face? Dumb.

Gina is seen strolling thru the park, as are Lizzie and Ressler and like 742 other FBI agents from the looks of it. Not suspicious at all talking into their little wrist device things…

Annnnnnd of course Gina spots one of the unknowns doing just that and makes a break for it. As in every episode, Ressler’s on foot pursuit of the bad guy, but Lizzie’s closer to her and follows her down a set of stairs to a bathroom. When she finally kicks in the stall door that Gina’s hiding behind, we’re then treated to a bad ass cat fight, of which Gina’s got Lizzie hands down. Just as she pulls out a knife, Ressler shoots her twice. I thought he said NO SHOTS FIRED. Fucking men.

Of course Lizzie immediately proceeds to try to keep Gina alive, telling her “Don’t die” while attempting to hold her hands over her wounds to keep her from bleeding out.

Arriving back at HQ, Lizzie’s freaking out on Ressler, Gina’s in surgery, the bomb’s going to go off in less than 4 hours, Lizzie asks what they know about the bomb, which is the same as what she does. After asking if they know why Gina killed hotel dude and how the multinational corporation is connected, she’s told that they are the investor and that their company is in trouble. What kind of company you ask? Shipping - - AND - - they are run out of NEW ORLEANS! Damn, I was RIGHT about RR’s signalling look during his phone call to Hakim earlier! I am GOOD!

Lizzie calls RR, asks what he knows about New Orleans, and she figures out that since his money from said phone call earlier was diverted from Houston, Houston must be the target since Houston and New Orleans are the biggest ports in the Gulf and if there’s radioactivity in Houston, all shipments will be diverted to the Gulf - thus making Gina’s investing corporation’s profits soar. RR hangs up, throws his phone to his assistant and says, “That’s my girl.” So the signalling earlier was for HER benefit… OK… that’s cool.

Meanwhile, in Houston - the entire FBI is there again with Ressler and Lizzie to find the car before it detonates, and of course there’s only a bazillion storage containers at the port.

At HQ - Malik/Tom: She tells him his girlfriend’s been shot and he says “What? Liz?” Um… no, dumbass that’s your WIFE…. so she throws down pictures of Gina who he, of course, denies knowing and she asks him what he knows about the bomb.

Back in Houston: searching, searching, searching.

Annnnd return to HQ: Malik asks Tom “What about a ship… a manifest… a crate number - help me!!” and Tom’s all: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Return to Houston: They are no longer searching, but instead are standing around talking about the port being 25 miles long. Lizzie pontificates that they’re missing something and realizes what Nedi Midris’ role was in the whole thing. Turns out, it’s illegal to search diplomatic cargo so he used his ambassadorship to get the car in without inspection, therefore Lizzie orders all manifests for the last week to be reviewed for anything signed my Nidi and wham bam thank you ma'am - they find the car. One of the random agents points out that the bomb is fabricated and is not just INSIDE the car but - IS the car. Um, yeah, that’s what bomb dude SAID moron.

Now they discuss an evacuation plan, only it’d take hours to evacuate and they don’t have hours. We’re reminded everything in 5 mile radius would be dead. Lizzie, once again to the rescue (is she the only person who knows how to solve things in the FBI?) suggests getting the car into the wide vast ocean that they’re like 10 feet from because radiation can be contained in water, so they bring in a big ass crane to do the job. They crane it in, Ressler jumps in with 30 seconds on the timer, floors that baby and just before it goes off the dock, he jumps out - the car goes into the water at 2 seconds and BOOOOOOM! Crisis averted.

Meanwhile, after Gina’s surgery, Ressler and Lizzie tell her that because they contained the bomb, the DA is willing to work a plea agreement with her with her cooperation. She agrees. They ask if she killed Folken, she confirms. When asked why, she said that he was a Russian KGB agent defecting and someone didn’t want what he knew to become known in the US so they hired her to take him out. Folken had info on the route Chechen guerrillas were using to move their supplies to their soldiers on the Russian border. The guy who hired her was making millions off those supplies. Turns out? His name was Red Reddington. Lizzie then shows her the pic of Tom and asks her if she knows him and she confirms she’s never seen him before in her life.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Upon releasing Tom and a heartwarming embrace with Lizzie, he glances at the evidence board and points to RR’s assistant, informing them that he was the one that Tom interviewed with for the teaching job.

DUN DUNNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Shortly after, Lizzie returns to RRs and barges right in announcing that they are DONE. She said Gina confessed to RR’s involvement, that the money from Tom’s box was traced to an offshore acct that was in RR’s name and the passports were forged. She continued that he put Tom’s picture in Zanetakos’ apartment, he hired her to kill Viktor Folken, he set her husband up by having his “errand boy” lure him to Boston (RR: "Is that what Tom said?“), After telling him she didn’t understand why he would do any of this, she followed it up with telling him to go to hell and leaving.

Final scene is apple-eating surveillance guy, who is told by his "day shifter” that the only thing he found out was that Tom doesn’t work for Reddington. Apple eating guy then asks “Well then who does he work for?” and the show ends on this note. Once again, leaving all the Tom-doubt we all have growing, leaving us DYING TO KNOW Reddington’s grand scheme and what role everyone plays in it, and finally - how the whole thing will end up at some point tying together. We ARE only 6 episodes in to a 22-episode season and personally? I can’t wait to see how the season progresses.

Have a tutti fuckin frutti day,
-BZ

The Blacklist: Unanswered Questions Vol. 1

By: Baby Z

“The Blacklist” is that specific type of show that from the pilot episode, viewers are reeling with a million questions. Since the list of questions just seems to continue to grow, I thought perhaps I’d cover some of the main questions that I have.

1. Obviously, one of the most major unanswered questions about The Blacklist is surrounding the true identity of Tom Keen. Is he who he says he is and Reddington is setting him up for some reason? Is he the double agent mentioned in the Angel Station case reports? If so, who does he work for? Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

2. Along the same lines of identity, who is Raymond Reddington to Elizabeth Keen? The writers sure seem to want the viewers to think he’s her father, but are they being too blatantly obvious in attempting to make us think this so they can bamboozle us later with a completely different plot direction?

3. Who is Tom Keen TO Reddington? Have their paths crossed before? Why is Reddington so insistent that Lizzie think Tom is actually a criminal/double agent/whatever? If she’s his daughter, it makes sense that he’s trying to protect her/look out for her but he’s been keeping tabs on Lizzie for quite a long time so if his intentions were to protect her, seems he’d have done so - I don’t know - prior to her marrying the guy?

4. Why is Lizzie so important to Reddington’s long term agenda with suddenly working with the FBI? What role will she play in this agenda, or what role is he hoping she’ll play?

5. What’s the deal with Lizzie’s scar? She tells Reddington she got it when she was 14 and it was a fire, but then she tells General Riker’s daughter in the first episode that when she was a little girl her scar made her brave because it was from her daddy. Also - have you noticed that the scar matches the symbol on Tom’s secret box?

6. Who is monitoring Lizzie & Tom Keen’s home and what part do they play in the plot? Are they monitoring Tom? Lizzie? Are they good guys or bad? What are they hoping to gain by the 24/7 surveillance?

7. Who is the woman in the photograph that Reddington removed from The Stewmaker’s photo book? There’s a date on the photograph of December 1990, which is when Reddington disappeared into thin air, leaving his wife and daughter behind, could this woman’s disappearance be what prompted him to turn to his life of crime? And why didn’t he want Lizzie to see this one photo in the book?

8. 042983 - In the Wujing episode, Reddington’s “payment” for services was a piece of paper with just this number on it - what is its significance? (Unrelated, 4/29/83 is the actress who plays Elizabeth Keen’s birthday in real life!)

9. Agent Malik - is she truly just a CIA agent that the head of the Criminal Division of Main Justice placed with them when she finally agreed that the FBI can work with Reddington or does she serve a yet-to-be-determined purpose in the show’s plot?

10. Angel Station Hotel - what really went down at that hotel in 2012 with the murder of Viktor Fokin, what was Tom’s connection, and do you think there’s any significance to the fact that he’s pretty insistent on taking Lizzie back there? Additionally, how is it that she was completely unaware a murder had taken place at the hotel they were staying at, during their stay there? **ANSWERED IN S1:E6 “Gina Zanetakos” - Tom & Lizzie didn’t stay at Angel Station during their mini-vacation, Tom only “interviewed” there, which would explain how it’s possible she was unaware of the murder, and why she didn’t recognize the hotel’s name**

These are my main outstanding questions regarding the show overall - - keep your eyes peeled for the next “Unanswered Questions” article which will contain more episode-specific unanswered questions. Also, feel free to click on the “Snark Us!” button at the top of the page with any input, answers, questions or comments you may have!!

Have a tutti fuckin frutti day,
-BZ

The Blacklist: The One With Not Enough Spader (S1:E5) The Courier

By: Baby Z

“The Courier” episode begins with the Keen’s having some, shall we say, sexy time in the bedroom, only Tom is all too aware that something’s up with Lizzie. So, as almost no man would do, he stops what he’s doing not only to ask her what’s going on, but when she gives the pretty much female-standard response of “Nothin” - - he completely stops trying to “get some” in order to talk, which should have been hint #1 about what’s to come.

But, no, I’ll admit, I took a bite of that apple and went along with the whole thing. She then says she has to ask him something and needs him to tell her the truth. You know, as opposed to when we really want our husbands to lie to us.

Being Mr. Perfect Husband, he OF COURSE says just that: "Of course! What is it?“ and she shows him the brochure containing the Angel Station Hotel they stayed at in Boston, says a man was shot and killed there and asks if he was involved, to which he FREAKS THE FUCK OUT, jumps on top of her and starts STRANGLING her!!

Only, you know, hahaHAAA viewers! Lizzie was just DREAMING, duh!

In reality, she wakes up to a cheery Tom, who is just now telling her that he’s going to their baby-mama’s ultrasound appointment today and when she responds that she thought their surrogate was having second thoughts, the writers of the show once again use this as an opportunity to really drill it into the viewers brains that Tom is constantly reinforcing that they are "GREAT” and everything is “AWESOME” and there’s no more perfect couple on the face of the planet despite the fact that at the same time we are all skeptical of him & what he’s possibly hiding.

Also - isn’t it weird that he didn’t tell Lizzie this information, like, the night before? The fact that they are definitely getting a baby doesn’t seem like one of those “Ehhh…I’ll tell her tomorrow…” kind of topics. Additionally, as Lizzie pointedly asked him about her not being invited to the ultrasound as well, we’re fed with more “TOM IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY” jargon when he responds that he just knows how busy she gets at work & just to call if she can’t make it. The writers better hope that he really DOES turn out to be a bad guy and this whole “perfect husband” personality he’s had thus far isn’t really HIM because if it is, YAWN - - his character could not possibly be more uninteresting and the only thing keeping my Tom-focus is the possibility that this is all a farce and he’s got some serious skeletons piled up in his closet.

We then cut to a 10 second scene of apple-eating dude surveilling their apartment and typing something on his laptop. There was no point to this scene except I guess to remind us that there’s an apple-eating dude surveilling their apartment.

Cut to a car pulling up behind a pickup truck on the side of the road (and it’s evening as opposed to morning in the previous scene so apparently we’re now witnessing the evening before the opening scene….?) and there’s someone clearly in despair yelling from the covered bed of the truck. The bed’s hood is lifted and we see that the person who pulled behind the truck was not a good-doer seeing if someone needed help, but rather a creepy masked dude who looks at the guy tied up and mouth-taped and closes the cover.

Next, the tied up dude is being recorded, saying his name is Seth Nelson and the camera starts panning back and forth between what’s happening and the recording of him asking creepy mask dude why he’s doing this and pretty much begging for his life since he’s being dragged around, shown a knife (which the masked dude stabs into a nearby piece of cardboard so his hands are free to place a gas mask on Seth) and the masked dude walks a few feet away to grab what we find out is a newspaper (confirming the date for whoever the video is for I’m assuming), Seth grabs the knife in the cardboard and just after the newspaper is placed on his chest he leans up and stabs the masked dude in the left upper part of his chest. The masked guy just kind of looks at the knife in his chest, unaffected, and as Seth pontificates “What are you?” he gets thrown into a refrigerator.

THE BLACKLIST opener comes up. Yes, everything I just typed above happened in the first 5 minutes of the show.

Brewer’s Hill: Baltimore, Maryland - FINALLY we’re treated to Reddington’s presence at assumably his latest “no-longer-than-2-nights-in-one-place” hiding spot….

…where he’s being told by some dude that his sources were correct and that the Iranian’s attempting to procure a high level intelligence package - and that he believes it could lead to the answer that RR seeks. RR instructs him to have it intercepted and the mystery dude responds that that could be difficult because the seller hired The Courier to make the exchange (which piques RR’s interest) and that the last time they attempted to intercept him…. when RR interrupts by saying he’s well aware of the men & resources they lost in Cairo.

Meanwhile, in Lizzie’s office at the FBI, she glances over to the Angel Station brochure when Ressler comes in and says “An order to include you in the oversight committee brief on Reddington next week…” so Lizzie hands over her “profile” report on RR and the ever-charming Ressler gives her his opinion on profiling, opining basically that it’s useless and has never helped him in any case, ever.

Facts are what helps him solve cases beyatch, so Lizzie uses this Ressler douchebaggery moment to tell him she also prepared a profile on him, that includes “uptight, fueled by an inner rage, capable of the occasional moment of tenderness which likely brings on the desire to stay up all night watching Asian porn.” HAAAA!!!! Maybe I need to start a “Lizzie’s Kick Ass Quotes” series of articles too because that was definitely a great one, and of course Ressler completely denies her being even remotely close. Um….. other than the porn - she was dead on with the first 2 descriptors for sure. So, she calls him out and says “How about this, you don’t trust me, you think I’m tainted somehow, maybe a traitor, you resent the fact that Reddington wants to work directly with me instead of you” and once again, she’s pretty much nailed it, and just to twist the proverbial knife, she then points out that - well speak of the devil, there’s the devil calling ME now, HAHAHA Ressler, you’re not part of the cool clique.

Lizzie goes to meet RR at what he confirms is his latest hideaway, the previous home of one of the finest American writers to ever live, one Fredrick Hemstead, of whom Lizzie has never heard. RR confirms that no one has ever heard of him, and that the strange, little man was waiting tables when they first met. Fredrick was living at the home with his mother until she passed away, and because he couldn’t afford to keep said home, RR bought it for him until Fredrick passed away without ever having been published, but the house was filled with his brilliant writing …annnd some sort of liquor concoction.

Of course, Lizzie wants to get down to business immediately (whereas I would be happy just to listen to him read a phone book to me all day, personally) so RR schools her about their next Blacklist target, The Courier.

We’re told (while the camera does the “panning back & forth between the current scene and one of the criminal being described” thing that the show’s director loves to do) that The Courier’s involvement in a transaction virtually guarantees its success. Once he’s hired to make a delivery, he can’t be bribed and he can’t be stopped. If either party attempts to double cross the other - he kills them both.

Again, Lizzie delivers another great line by responding that Agent Cooper isn’t going to sanction a black op against the UPS driver of crime, and RR tells her that he will once she tells him that The Courier is scheduled to deliver a package worth $20 million. RR explains that the reason he knows this info is that he knows the man that The Courier is planning on delivering the package to: an Iranian spy named Hamid Soroush. Lizzie asks if The Courier has a name (uh, no Lizzie, that’s what he was named at birth!) but RR just says that he’s sure he does but that he does not know it. He tells her the exchange is happening at the Winston Farmer’s Market in 2 hours and 45 minutes. The camera pans back to The Courier, who is stitching up his own stab wound from earlier, sort of humming as he does so. Ow. We can also see the room he’s in is quite equipped with a plethora of weaponry. Clearly, The Courier is a bad ass.

Farmer’s Market, Alexandria, Virginia: Lizzie and Agent Malik are walking around looking for the Iranian spy and they spot someone that looks like it could be him, while another agent snaps his picture.

They’re feeding info to Ressler who’s surveilling from, I’m assuming, a nearby van and he instructs them to stay on the guy they think is Soroush. No shit, Ressler. As they’re walking behind Soroush, he passes by a child who hands him a cell phone and says “When it rings, pick it up.” as opposed to what most people do when a cell rings and just sort of, what, look at it confusedly? The phone almost immediately rings, and thanks to the very specific instructions by the child, he answers - to which Lizzie says “He’s moving.” Agent Malik asks what he’s saying but Ressler’s not picking anything up by nearby mic’d up agents apparently? Just as quickly as he was on the phone, he was off it, He walks up to a “vendor” and asks him if he can break $100, Lizzie’s Spidey sense tells her that he just made contact, so Ressler instructs all teams to start CASUALLY moving to the east side of the market but that they should NOT SPOOK this guy, then tells an agent named “Chang” to get a picture of the produce vendor’s face.

After the picture is snapped, produce vendor guy walks beyond the vendor market’s plastic curtained “entry/exit” way, Ressler tells the tactical teams “they’re up” and that he wants the south side sealed off from the outside, and suddenly shots are fired and Soroush is shot in the head, the blood of which splatters onto Malik’s face. She announces that shots have been fired, Soroush is down and they don’t have eyes on the shooter, The Courier peels away in a Jeep Cherokee and the best Malik can do (and where are the teams and tactical units???) is shoot out his back window. She screams several times at a nearby vendor (who, wouldn’t you assume everyone would have hit the ground and not be, like, standing around looking at their vegetables and whatnot?) to give her his keys, which he finally does and Malik & Lizzie are off on a car chase.

Sidenote - - I’m sorry but so far? There’s just not enough Reddington in this episode, dammit. But I digress.

We’re informed that air support is on their way, ETA 2 minutes, Lizzie and Malik are in hot pursuit, pretty much right behind The Courier, very dangerously driving thru neighborhoods and flying over railroad tracks and shit. The Courier turns his car perpendicular to them, stops the car and starts shooting at them with what I think is an AK47, shooting the truck they procured to holy hell while Lizzie and Malik simply duck down to avoid being shot.

He stops shooting, starts driving again and Lizzie tells Malik to cut him off at the next intersection and as she does this, they look at each other and Lizzie says “Do it” and they SLAM into the side of The Courier’s Cherokee at an extremely high rate of speed. In a Dodge Ram type pickup truck. Both cars careen off the road, Lizzie and Malik’s airbags have been deployed & they’re definitely a bit shaken at first, while nearby witnesses of this seeming horrific accident start approaching the vehicles to help, when suddenly The Courier comes barreling thru the crowd with his AK47 (and the crowd parted like the Red Sea). Lizzie updates the team where they’re at, that The Courier’s car has been disabled, and they take off now on foot pursuit of The Courier who (of course) has found an alley and a building to hide behind while he takes a seat, removes by hand a couple of the stab wound stitches he’d done and inserts a chip looking thing INTO HIS STAB WOUND. Again, ow. A little shoot off between him and Lizzie takes place, his gun stops working, and suddenly Malik is in front of him telling him if he moves, he’s dead and they’ve got him.

Now, being only about 20 minutes into the show, clearly this ain’t over.

(Oh, when Lizzie & Malik were ordering him both arms up in the air, he couldn’t lift his left one and they kept yelling at him to get his arm up so he reached into his bloodied sleeve and reset a BONE that must have broke in the accident…. not sure how many times i’ll say this about this particular Blacklist villain but he is bad. ass.)

Next we’re taken to the interrogation room where Malik and Ressler are reeling into The Courier, asking him where the package is that was supposed to go to the Iranian spy. It appears The Courier’s not really be cooperative. Watching the interrogation are Cooper, Lizzie and (YAY) Reddington. Cooper’s pissed that they still don’t know what the package was that was supposed to be delivered to the Iranian after searching The Courier & his vehicle. Lizzie accuses RR of keeping information from them with regards to what he knows, and RR is like “Look bitches, I did my job - I gave you a Blacklister, he’s right fucking there…..” only, you know, I’m paraphrasing this one.

Meanwhile in the interrogation room Malik pontificates that good cop/bad cop isn’t working so they’re going to try bad cop/worse cop as Ressler grabs The Courier’s broken arm (that’s now in a sling). The Courier just looks up at him and smiles. Bad Ass. (BAD ASS COUNT: 3?)

Annnnnnnnd back to Cooper/Lizzie/RR, Lizzie points out the knife wound in The Courier’s chest and says he has scars all over his body, asks RR if he knows how he got them. All RR says to that is that he’d always wondered if the stories were true, and that they may need to call in a doctor.

In the next scene we see a doctor exiting the interrogation room to talk to Ressler, Lizzie and Cooper (boo, where’d RR go?) Doc says he’s read about cases like this and that The Courier has “congenital anhidrosis,”, a rare genetic disorder that basically means The Courier cannot feel physical pain. He said that people with the disorder obviously get injured more, but that his scarring was indicative of much, much more than what would be considered “normal” for someone with the disorder. Cooper then says they’re much more interested in the knife wound in his chest and that they think he may have placed evidence in side the wound (um, how and why did they think this exactly?) Sooo the doc goes back in and opens the wound and finds the chip.

They review what’s on the chip, which is the Seth Nelson video from the beginning of the show and pictures of him with the gas mask on, and with the newspaper on his chest. Lizzie points out the newspaper was from yesterday and the timestamp on the video was from 4:29 this morning and that it was a proof of life video. They informed the viewers that the gas mask and container he was put in mean his hours are numbered, and that they didn’t find a package because there wasn’t one. Saroush was paying 20 million dollars for Seth Nelson and the FBI just stopped him from making a ransom payment. Cut to Seth Nelson in his container & he has what looks like some type of timer on his chest counting down at 22:14:51.

Back at the FBI headquarters they have found that Seth Nelson works tech support for a cable company and lives in Maryland with his parents. Ressler chimes in that assuming each oxygen cylinder was full, Seth has maybe 20 or so hours until he runs out of oxygen and dies. A tech with an ultrasound machine passes by them and we are told by Cooper that they want to make sure The Courier doesn’t have any other surprises hiding inside him. Cooper also wants to know why anyone would think this kid is worth 20 million dollars, when Malik (on a computer) chimes in that he’s probably worth more. Her CIA sources had just confirmed that he’s one of their NSA analysts, and one of their best at that. And that he’s one of only 3 people allowed to write and access the security protocols software. They realize that if he’s coerced into aiding a foreign power, the results could be catastrophic, and Lizzie puts on her Captain Obvious suit by saying that they have to get The Courier to talk. No shit Keen, ya think? She said that there must be something he wants, Ressler responds that he’s a psychopath and Cooper adds that they’re lucky, then, to have their own psychopath.

Following, Lizzie’s back at RR’s dead writer hideaway house and RR’s laughing over a piece of writing he’d found, when his Asian security chick walks in, scantily dressed with what I’m assuming is one of RR’s shirts thrown on over some lingerie and nothing but underwear covering her lower half. RR’s getting some sexy time too it seems.

Lizzie tells him that she needs to know what he’s not telling them about The Courier and, in true Reddington fashion, he asks what he gets in return. When she says “My gratitude” he says for her to tell him what she’s learned about her hubby. She tells him about the open homicide that the gun she found is tied to, but that the file is classified and she can’t find out any of the details, such as who was killed. He calls her bluff so she fesses up that she knows it was in Boston last year and she thinks it was a Russian tourist who was killed, Viktor Folkin. When RR asks why she thinks her husband may have been in Boston at that time when she was living in New York, so she tells him that she was there with him for a supposed job interview.

In return, RR tells Lizzie that a few years ago some of his associates encountered The Courier in an opium den in Cairo, and that he killed 2 of them. He said if the Courier still has a taste for the poppy, he may know a man that can help them, and Lizzie responds “You’re talking about a drug dealer…” as if that’s the worst thing they’ve come across??? She ends up telling him to get ahold of the guy, her only concern is getting to Seth and they need to find The Courier’s safehouse.

I am assuming RR’s contact was able to help because the next scene shows several Agents along with Ressler, Lizzie and Malik breaking into The Courier’s safehouse and ransacking it. Malik finds a name - Tommy Phelps, Ressler find a big gun in a case and Lizzie finds an old picture of 2 young boys standing in front of a trailer and on the back of the photo “Summer 1969” is written. She then finds a camera, which contains pictures of both the Iranian buyer and also the female seller that The Courier was working with, who was responsible for kidnapping Seth and hiring The Courier to pick up her money. Cooper asks why The Courier was surveilling the buyer & seller and Lizzie shared the tidbit about The Courier killing both parties if something went wrong, so he probably wanted to know where to find them both if things went south. Cooper then borrows the Captain Obvious suit from Lizzie and says for them to find out who the woman is.

In the interrogation room, The Courier’s being ultrasounded and is now shirtless and we see all the horrific scaring that Lizzie mentioned earlier. The doctor then informs Cooper that The Courier had 5 objects embedded inside him, some surrounded in scar tissue indicating some had been there for years. They identified only 2 of the 5 - a key and another chip. The other 3 objects were just shadows and the doctor needs a higher resolution scanner to be able to try to identify them. Cooper instructs the doctor to take The Courier to Walter Reed hospital and cut everything inside him out. Because they left the door open between the interrogation room and the viewing room that this conversation took place in, The Courier heard all of it so he decided now’s a good time to put out some bait by saying “The kid’s got, what, 14 hours of air left? I can tell you where he is…” in exchange for, of course, immunity. Cooper’s like “Yeah, no.” so The Courier tells him “Then the kid’s dead.”

Lizzie find this the perfect time to come in and tell The Courier that she’s been trying to figure out if there’s anything he cares about in the world and pulls out the picture of the 2 boys she found at his safe house. "How about him?“ she says, and The Courier is visibly affected. She continues, "Care about your little brother Johnny? We’re bringing him in from Petersburg Federal Prison right now, anything you want me to tell him?” The Courier looks away and next we are in another interrogation room with The Courier’s brother.

Lizzie’s questioning him about The Courier, she asks him about his contacts, who he works with, the people in his life and the brother responds that there are NO people in his life. She points out that there’s HIM and that The Courier had tried to break him out of prison. His brother asks what he’s moving now and she tells him a 26 year old MIT grad. He sort of shakes his head, a bit ashamed looking, and tells her she doesn’t understand “Tommy” at all. We’re then informed that their father abused them and that it really didn’t bother Tommy, which made their dad hate him even more that he couldn’t control his own son. So when he was 11 their dad started hosting dog fights, only not with 2 dogs but rather a dog against Tommy. They had a barn, people would come from miles around and get drunk, making bets. He said what that did to The Courier over time broke him, some switch in his head flipped along the line. He said he wished he could help but that he knew he was only there because someone screwed up, that a deal went sideways and now a buyer & seller had targets on their heads if they weren’t dead already. As a viewer I almost felt bad for The Courier because of this horrible, horrible upbringing after this scene.

Cut to RR informing them who the seller is, one Laurence Dechambou, ex French Intelligence who now makes a living selling secrets, mostly those of a technological nature that he doesn’t understand much of it but that she’s clearly trying to step up her game with this particular case.

He informs them she owns the night club that’s featured in some of the pictures they found on The Courier’s camera, and that the last time he saw her, they were having a fantastic time until she tried to strangle him with her stocking. Cooper orders a warrant and says they’ll have it by the time they arrive, to which RR tells them she won’t talk and Cooper says she’s the only lead they have so they’ll arrest her and take their chances. Malik chimes in that there may be another option - that since Dechambou had to have handed Seth over to The Courier somewhere, if they could find the location they might get lucky with some sort of security camera or ATM footage of the exchange. Ressler then continues for her out of nowhere that they could use it to track The Courier’s movements last night, which could lead to Seth.

This is an awful lot of talking about an awful lot of “what if” scenarios when they’re trying to find a guy who has like 10 hours of air left.

RR, again, asks why she would possibly tell them anything, and Lizzie said she doesn’t have to - that she’s still expecting her money so they should send someone in AS The Courier, tell her the exchange was a set up, the deal is off and she can pick up Seth where she dropped him off. Ressler, who apparently loves following people’s train of thought, states the obvious that they would then follow her to the drop off point. RR knows this won’t work and says if they want to find anything out, they’re going to need to send him to talk to her. Summoning up every last ounce of charm he has, Ressler says that everytime RR “meets” someone ends up dead. Cooper points out that if they went with this plan, they’d be working off the assumption that Dechambou has never met The Courier and doesn’t know what he looks like, says it’s too risky so CAPTAIN RESSLER to the rescue jumps in and offers to go. Cooper agrees but only if at the very first sign of things going south, the club is swarmed.

Lizzie then gets a call from her dear old hubby and inexplicably says “Oh God, Tom, he’s gonna kill me.” which - what?? That morning he already said that he didn’t expect she’d be able to make the ultrasound appointment and that he understood… however when she answers, Tom’s upset and says she needs to come home immediately, he doesn’t care what’s going on at work, he cancelled the ultrasound and Lizzie tells him that something incredibly important has developed at work to which he responds that he doesn’t care and that they need to talk about something that's more important. She begins to explain that they can talk later, that the work thing is an emergency, and as he hangs up on her mid-sentence, we see him peering down into the hole in their apartment floor that his secret box was stored in. There’s a weird look in his eyes as he places the cover back over the hole eerily.

Cut to Dechambou’s club, Ressler walks up to the bouncer and says he’s there to see Dechambou to which the bouncer replies he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and tells him to move to the back of the line, so Lizzie tells Ressler in his earpiece that he needs to make a statement here, he needs to hurt the bouncer, as this is what The Courier would do, so Ressler diverts the bouncer’s attention briefly and follows that up with a swift knee kick and punch to the face, taking the HUGE bouncer down. Malik says “That was hot.” and Lizzie responds, “You know he can hear you right?” to which Malik says “Yep.” Awwww snap…. are we going to have some Ressler/Malik sexy time in the future??

Inside the club, which is kind of like…. Moulin Rouge but with house music, Ressler is quickly ushered to Dechambou’s office by a random staffer. She asks him if there’s a reason she shouldn’t kill him after injuring her doorman and forcing his way into her club and he responds that if she kills him, she kills Seth Nelson. From this name drop, she now thinks he’s The Courier, asking him what the hell he’s doing there when they had agreed the money would be dropped off at the specified location. He tells her plans change, and she’s not happy, telling him the only reason she hired him was to keep attention off of her and here he is showing up at her front door?

Ressler tells her there is no money, that the Iranian was working with the FBI so he killed him. She tells him she’s known Soroush for years, so Ressler responds “Well if he didn’t set me up, then you did.” So she quickly adds that she never trusted Soroush, hence her hiring him to do the exchange. Ressler says that Seth can be found where he was left last night and that they are done and she should never talk to him again (again, sounding like a 5 year old) however a lightbulb flashes over Dechambou’s head and she questions how she can know that he’s really The Courier and that she’s not being set up too, so since she heard he can’t feel pain - she would like him to prove it. Ressler breaks a glass nearby and begins cutting up his arm with no reaction while telling her he’s already lost the only thing in the world that he ever loved and that he has nothing in this world but his job. Dechambou, while impressed, realizes that if he really were The Courier, he would kill her too, not walk away with no hard feelings.

As she’s asking him who he really is, Lizzie’s ordering the “swarm” that Cooper mentioned earlier and Ressler’s defending himself in a fight with a staffer that had pulled a gun on him. He fights him off and flees the office back into the club as another staffer is shooting at him. Dechambou goes after Ressler and walks out the front entrance only to see a couple staffers on their knees and a bunch of guns’ laser red dots on all of them from the “swarm” outside.

They bring Dechambou in to the FBI headquarters and we are informed that Seth now has less than 8 hours of air left. Again, it is brought up that they need to get The Courier to talk. Because, you know, this has already worked so well. Meanwhile, Lizzy gets a text from dear old hubby Tom that says “Come home now. Need to talk.” Ressler and Malik discuss how they should get him to talk since torturing him won’t work with him not feeling pain, and Lizzie suggests that they use the brother to make a deal with The Courier - make an offer to reduce his brother’s sentence in prison in exchange for Seth’s location. The life of a stranger for the life of his brother. So Ressler orders to call the Marshals and get The Courier back there, and we cut to a shackled Courier being transported (presumably to the hospital?) only he’s sort of motioning like a cat does when they have a furball they’re about to spit up, only The Courier’s “furball” is what appears to be a razor blade? Because then he slices open his arm and pulls out a pocket knife, which he uses to pick the handcuff locks.

Cut to Seth who’s fighting to breathe and then suddenly it’s bright & sunny in DC so clearly it’s morning now? And at the FBI they’re discussing that The Courier wounded 2 of the Marshals and killed 1 with a knife that they’re assuming was one of the unidentified objects in his body. Ressler informs them that the abandoned transport was found in Woodridge, Virginia, along with a stolen vehicle report in the same area that the police are searching for. Lizzie points out that The Courier’s brother said Woodridge is where they grew up and Malik says “Maybe Seth is there?” so Cooper orders them to follow up on that train of thought and find out. And in the meantime, he says they need to see what they can get out of Dechambou. RR chimes in that he has a better suggestion - to let her go. Cooper responds with what I think may be his favorite thing to say, “That’s not going to happen.”

RR explains that when she left French intelligence, she was on track to being Cooper’s level and that when she switched to the world of crime she only moved up from there. He said there’s no way they’ll be able to make any charges stick and that if they want to find Seth, they should let her go - even suggesting the can rearrest her another time, a week, a month from now, but for NOW, they need to let her go. He follows that up with he’ll make her talk then, and Cooper asks him why they should trust that he won’t use what she tells him to get Seth himself, to which RR says “You don’t. But I don’t see that you have any other options left.” So, for the bazillionth time, something that Cooper says is “Not going to happen” happens and he says to release her.

Cut to Dechambou back in her office, pouring herself a drink when RR appears in the corner telling her she better make it a double.

She thinks his visit has to do with their last encounter in Paris, but he tells her he wants to know where the NSA agent is, and of course she says she has no idea. They tit for tat for a moment about how The Courier’s been compromised, the Iranian is dead and she’s next, but that if she helps him by giving him the dropoff location of Seth the night before, his private jet is ready to take her out of the country and he’ll guarantee her safety. She wants her 20 million and he basically tells her to suck it. She appears to still not quite be ready to talk so he tells her he gives it a day and a half before The Courier finds her, kisses her on the forehead and tells her to try to be brave. And as he’s walking towards her office exit, she says that she will help him.

Meanwhile (it’s dark outside again by the way - ???) Ressler and Malik are approaching the vehicle that was reported stolen in Woodridge, VA and blood is spotted so Ressler informs “all teams” that they have found the location of the suspect and as he’s giving the location, the two of them suddenly find themselves in a gun battle with The Courier, who’s inside the trailer home seen in the picture of him and his brother from 1969. Ressler gets closer and closer and finally in to the trailer during the back & forth shooting match, only The Courier’s no longer in the trailer, he’s outside now, which Ressler yells to Malik. They come up behind The Courier, who’s walking slowly carrying a bag in one hand. He turns around, his head cocks to the side and he drops to the ground, Malik searches for a pulse and confirms he’s dead. Um….how??

Back at FBI headquarters, Lizzie and RR have a map and are discussing where Dechambou said she dropped Seth off at, compared with the time of The Courier’s video so that they can get a radius around the drop off site of where he might be. Within that radius there is only one spot that has road access,so they deduce that Seth has to be at that location then. Lizzie points out Seth has maybe 30 minutes of air left, so RR eloquently says that they might get there just in time to see him die.

As they’re pulling up to area that Seth’s at, RR tells Lizzie that if they find their NSA friend alive, he might prove helpful and she responds that he wants him for his own reasons, which RR has no problem basically responding, “Well, duh…” (again, I’m paraphrasing here…) He, Lizzie and RR’s black security guy start looking thru the plethora of different container type objects that are randomly just scattered in this one area…I don’t quite get what this place is, a junk yard of sorts? RR realizes that the refrigerator Seth is locked in is buried under ground, like The Courier buried things in his skin. He stomps on an area of ground that sounds like metal and just like that - RR has located the buried refrigerator. When they pull Seth out, he’s not breathing so RR’s security guy begins chest compressions as RR says he died once for 2 and a half minutes. The security guy brings Seth back to life, he looks at all of them and asks “Who are you?” to which RR responds “The FBI. And friends.” Awesome.

The following scene shows Seth on a gurney with that oxygen tube thing in his nose, and RR leans down and whispers something to him when Lizzie walks up to inform Seth that his parents are going to meet him at the hospital. Seth asks how he can ever repay them, to which RR says that he’s sure they’ll think of something, and Lizzie’s like, “Uh, don’t even think about it.” She eyes him suspiciously as he’s clearly already got plans for how he’ll use Seth, RR walks away and Ressler walks up to do what it seems he does in each episode and that is backtrack how he was at the beginning of the episode towards her by telling her what a good thing she did saving Seth’s life. Lizzie asks about what he said to Dechambou about his job being the only thing he has in his life and he’s immediately guarded saying that he was undercover playing a role and that’s IT. Drop it beyatch cuz ol’ Ressler’s allllllllll good.

Lizzie, apparently forgetting about the urgent demands for her to immediately go home for the last 10 hours by her husband, goes back to her office at the FBI headquarters. Someone comes in with a special delivery for her, and when she opens the envelope she finds a file with a sticky note attached that says “The answers you seek. Red.”

When she opens said files, there’s an Angel Station surveillance photos folder, a ballistics report filled out rather than the copy she got that said “Classified” including pictures of Viktor Fokin along with details about Viktor being in contact with an unsanctioned double agent, a white male suspect who is still at large.

Fokin:

Just beneath this report are surveillance photos of Tom just outside the Angel Station Hotel where the Fokin’s murder took place.

Back at the dead writer’s house, RR’s talking with the same man from the beginning of the episode, who informs us that RR used the “favor” from NSA agent Seth in order to get the classified information and documents for Lizzie. He questions why he would waste such a valuable one time offer on the girl when they could have used it to make the world tremble and finally find their adversary, to which RR responds that it wasn’t wasted, that he’s betting on the long play, the future.

His cohort says “Your future’s arriving now” and in walks a crying Lizzie, to whom he hands a glass of the dead writer’s moonshine. She sits on the opposite side of the couch from him, he ponders about the view from the couch of the light hitting the trees and she says she doesn’t even know why she’s there. They remain sitting in silence together.

The final scene shows Lizzie arriving to her & Tom’s apartment but from the perspective of apple-eating dude’s surveillance cameras, when another man walks in and asks apple-eating dude what’s going on, to which he responds “Well, you’ll want to see this, sit down.” New dude sits down and we cut to the Keen apartment, where Lizzie walks in to see Tom sitting in the living room, not saying a word, She steps toward him and says, “We need to talk” to which he responds “That’s funny. I was just going to say the same thing to you.” while reaching over and pulling the secret box with the passports, money and gun out in between them.

AND THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS. Man, can this show GET any better, I’m honestly not sure how it will continue to just keep topping itself week after week but, good God, it sure has so far.

Also? What the hell was The Courier’s cause of death dammit!?

This week’s “Kick Ass Reddington Quotes” will posted shortly, along with a new feature for this show - “The Blacklist’s Unanswered Questions” - - keep an eye out for both!

Have a tutti fuckin frutti day,
-BZ

The Blacklist: The Role James Spader was Born to Play (S1-E1)

By: Baby Z

Ever since he played Steff, the asshole we all loved to hate in “Pretty in Pink” I knew that James Spader was destined for awesomeness. Yes, he was good in “The Practice” and in “Boston Legal,” I didn’t really jump on the whole “Robert California” train with his role on “The Office” too much, although Steve Carrell’s shoes would’ve been hard for any actor to fill, truth be told.

But along comes Raymond Reddington in “The Blacklist” and finally - FINALLY we get to see James Spader in the role he was born to play. Brilliant? Yes. Snarky? As hell!! A criminal mastermind at the top of the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted List?? Oh hell to the Spader yes!!!

The show opens with Reddington turning himself in to the FBI, basically by walking into their offices, thru their security & metal detectors and right up to the main guard station, announcing who he’s there to see and handing over his name unabashedly. While waiting, he walks to the center of the atrium, removes his jacket & hat placing them over a briefcase that was delivered to him just outside the building and then calmly bends down to his knees and waits.

Just these first 2 minutes of the show had me hook, line & sinker.

By way of an awesome profile shot of Spader, the camera pans in on an “FBI Most Wanted” flyer for Raymond Reddington, Spader’s character in the show:

(Pic courtesy of Eric Rosenberg, Creative for NBC - Behance page)

We are then filled in via a pretty moronic discussion between FBI Agents Cooper and Ressler (Cooper: Is it really him? Ressler: Uh, yep, prints match. Oh - and I’m pretty sure that you’d have to be a complete asshat to say you’re someone on the FBI’s Most Wanted list when you’re really not?) that Red Reddington (RR moving forward) was in the Naval Academy, top of his class and was being groomed for Admiral by the young age of 24. Then in 1990, he disappeared - leaving behind his blossoming career, and his wife & child at Christmas time.

He was gone for 4 years before classified documents started appearing from a wide array of countries with his name on them, apparently brokering illegal dealings between countries, essentially placing him in the role of a terrorist whose only allegiance was to that of the highest bidder.

And he continued these illegal dealings until - this particular day when he just up & decided to turn himself into the FBI. When Agent Cooper asks why he’s turning himself in, we’re informed that they do not know- RR is not speaking to any of them.

And, as if by cue, a confined to some weird compartment type contraption, RR says:

“Evidently someone with the authority to make decisions has arrived. I think I smell the stench of your cologne, Agent Cooper. Smells like hubris.”

Which in and of itself is such a brilliantly delivered line but for those who don’t know - hubris means excessive pride or self confidence - arrogance… and the way the word “hubris” so casually rolls off his tongue is… well, it’s nothing short of perfect if I’m being honest. Excellent writing, writers - and even better execution, Mr. Spader.

RR continues on to say that he’s well aware that everyone’s wondering why he’s there. He rattles off 3 dates and events that the FBI was unaware were related let alone the doing of one man, and said that that man is Ranko Zamani. "You want him. I want him. So let’s say for the moment…that our interests… are aligned.“

A random FBI Agent does a Google search (ok, not really) on Ranko Zamani, who comes up as having been deceased for 6 years. This amuses RR, who pontificates the irony, then, that Zamani just stepped off of flight #283 from Munich to their very own Washington DC airport. The FBI agents kick into gear and within 30 seconds are able to find out the identity Zamani is assuming and get 9 points of confirmation that it is, in fact, Zamani from his flight’s ARMREST.

I know. Far reaching at best.

After humiliating Agent Cooper by making him admit that they were wrong, RR informs them that they’re now going to play by his rules - number 1 of which is that he will only speak with Elizabeth Keen, a name that means absolutely nothing to any of them.

Cut to Elizabeth Keen’s normal life with her normal problems (her & her husband sleeping in on her first day at a new job, rushing around like a madwoman trying to get ready, who’s taking the car and who’s taking public transportation today, etc.., etc..,) and it is just before they go running out of their home that Keen’s husband tells her not to forget that they have their last adoption meeting at 1:30. She assures him that she’ll be there, of course, and a little bit of foreshadowing on my part tells me to place money on the exact opposite.

Her husband leaves, followed a minute or so later by Lizzie who bounds out the door to find him standing on their front stairs gazing at her lovingly. They have a little "moment” whereby he tells her how amazing she is, and she assures him that this new job will not get in the way of their “family plans,” their family is still her priority and 5, 4, 3, 2……1….

The FBI shows up in DROVES to “summon” Lizzie, who we find out is starting her first day at her new job as a PROFILER. They bring her to RR, and their meeting has a very “Silence of the Lambs” feel to it, however it’s RR’s hinting that he may be her father that are of particular note to me.

RR then informs Lizzie that Zamani’s plan is to kidnap US General Riker’s daughter within the next 36 hours, and that if she does not stop him, he will kill the little girl. How does he know all this? He’s the one who got Zamani into the country. Dun dunnnn dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!

Lizzie, with the assistance of pretty much every FBI Agent within a 100 mile radius, descend upon the ballet class of US General Riker’s daughter and once they have her in their care, a tailgate-party worthy line of FBI vehicles is heading over the bridge in DC when they are rerouted by a Hazmat team and told to turn around due to a chemical spill. It is during said “U-turn” that Zamani’s men attack the barrage of FBI vehicles, guns a'blazin and gas cans and explosions ensue, and before you know it - a gas mask is being handed into the (now flipped on its side) FBI truck containing Lizzie and the little girl and Lizzie informs her that some men are going to take her but that she will come find her. The little girl puts on the mask, the mysterious arms reach in and lift her out of the vehicle and a newly detonated gas can is left in the girl’s place for good measure.

Once the dust clears a bit, we see that Zamani’s team now have the little girl and are leaving via boats beneath the bridge.

Back at the FBI headquarters, RR reviews the “evidence board” with Lizzie, trying to figure out what Zamani’s next move might be, and it is deduced that Zamani hired a chemist at some point to build a bomb. Due to all the help that RR is providing, he procures himself a nice hotel suite compliments of the FBI thankyouverymuch and Lizzie leaves to “clear her head” and I believe she mentions needing a shower.

She arrives at her apartment, which is FILLED with lovely pink balloons and streamers and a sign that says “It’s a Girl!” and for a brief moment she is elated that the “final adoption meeting” went so well without her, you know, being there and all until she is sees that her husband is tied to a chair and has clearly, for lack of a better term, had the shit beat out of him. Zamani appears and wants to know exactly what the FBI knows about him and his plans, and once he is satisfied that she’s told him everything she knows, tells Lizzie she is going to need to make a decision between stopping him now, saving many Americans lives or not stopping him now in order to save her husband - who he proceeds to stab repeatedly in the femoral artery region of his thigh.

Cut scene to hospital room, where Lizzie’s husband is most definitely not in good shape (but alive) and NOW it’s personal & Lizzie’s on the warpath, gunning for RR, whom she is now convinced is involved in all of this even to the point of helping plan the attack on her hubby. RR attempts to get her to relay to him EXACTLY what Zamani said to her in her apartment, but it all happened so fast & there was so much blood that she can’t be sure, but manages to blurt out that Zamani thanked her for the FBI taking care of the aforementioned “chemist” for him, which tells RR that the bomb is still in play.

But Lizzie’s had enough of RR’s shit, grabs a pen from the table and STABS HIM IN HIS CAROTID ARTERY, removes the bloody pen and leaves RR gasping for air. But not before he manages to tell her that if she kills him, she will never know the truth about her husband.

I know, right? …..the fuck??

She goes home to clean a very bloody apartment and get some comfort from a dog they suddenly have (?) and the following morning decides that she wants to know more about what RR was talking about with regards to her husband, only dun dunnnnnn dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn - - RR has disappeared from his hospital room.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am loving this show and most things about it so far but, does it not seem to you like this has been a 3 hour event so far?

This show is going to be one HELL of a show to recap, of this much - I am sure.

The following scene shows RR meeting up with Zamani at the Lincoln Memorial, leading us all to believe that he has been a part of this entire plan all along, and when RR asks Zamani about Lizzie’s husband, Zamani responds that he did what RR asked him to do. It’s a good thing the FBI put that tracker in RR’s shoulder at the beginning of the episode because NO WORRIES FOLKS - the FBI is all over this, they should only be STEPS behind him, yet never seem to catch up. RR calls Lizzie’s cell phone and asks her if she remembered anything else about her encounter with Zamani, and she tells him about a tattoo on his hand. RR responds that Zamani is a Serbian Orthodox and would not have a tattoo, which helps Lizzie figure out that it was actually a handstamp - and that of the DC Zoo. Zamani’s plan is to detonate the bomb at the DC Zoo!

She somehow manages to get there, and into the center of said zoo within minutes (meanwhile the FBI Agents tracking RR are still “hot on his trail”) and she spots the US General’s little girl sitting on a park bench, strapped with the bomb in question with 3 minutes on the timer. RR calls her cell, tells her that a friend will be there shortly to help and for her not to touch the bomb.

The FBI has finally caught up with the tracking device, only it is in Zamani’s possession, not in RR’s neck, and along with the tracking device is the detonator for the bomb. Zamani is on a building ledge, is going to detonate the bomb and then leap to his death from the building only - - FBI Agent shoots the shit out of him first, sending him over the edge of the building just before he has the opportunity to hit “Blow Up” or whatever it is that detonators are labeled.

Lizzie, in an attempt to keep the little girl calm, tells her a story about what helps HER when she’s scared. Earlier in the show, RR had mentioned to Lizzie that he noticed she messed with a particularly unsightly scar on her wrist that she explains happened in a fire when she was 14. Now, she explains to the little girl, that the scar is what helps her to be brave in times when she was scared, because it was from her daddy and now I want to know what the fuck RR did to Lizzie at 14 that caused such a result.

In the meantime, RR’s “friend” arrives, he is foreign and she cannot understand him, however he manages to detonate the bomb, after which he removes from the little girl and disappears with to God knows where. RR (and a bazillion FBI agents) arrive seconds later (of course). Lizzie is upset that there’s a chemical weapon in the hands of what turns out to be a Ukrainian friend of RR’s, and well - that’s the price ya pay to have it not blow up a zoo full of children, Lizzie - lesson learned.

One of the final scenes of the show is RR in an FBI boardroom with Agent Cooper, where he explains that their collaboration isn’t over, that Zamani was just the 1st on a long list he refers to as his “Blacklist.” This list contains people the FBI cannot find because they don’t even know they EXIST (booooyah!) and amongst them are politicians, mobsters, hackers, spies, and – that RR will be willing to help the FBI get these people, but only if they agree to his rules:

RR Rule #1: He never sleeps in the same place more than 2 nights in a row.

RR Rule #2: He wants a fully encrypted 8mm chip embedded in his neck, not the garbage tracker they inserted earlier.

RR Rule #3: He wants his own security. He has assembled a list of 5 acceptable applicants, of which the FBI can choose 2.

RR Rule #4: Whatever RR tells them, falls under an immunity package that he negotiates himself.

Annnnnd the 5th and final rule: RR speaks only with Elizabeth Keen.

And on that note, we cut to Lizzie at her apartment, cutting a hole into the flooring, where she finds a large wooden box. It’s contents include a SHIT TON of money, a gun and so many passports I wouldn’t even wager a guess as to how many - all containing her husband’s picture, and all with different identities.

She returns to see RR, who in all his James Spader glory says to her, “You’ve discovered something curious about your husband, haven’t you Lizzie?” and we are treated to an awesomely bluesy-indie version of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” to close the series premiere.

My personal opinion:
This is a kick-ass, awesomely awesome show based on the pilot, excellently written and perfectly executed by its main star. I can’t wait for more, although the recaps may have to shorten a bit.

Have a tutti fuckin frutti day,
-BZ